Write...or Die Trying

I've Moved!

2006-03-31T15:54:00.000-06:00

I've moved to a new blogging home. Please join me over at:

http://writeordietrying.intellectualprivateer.org

More Search Terms

2006-03-15T08:22:00.000-06:00

How people get here from search engines always interests me. Here’s some more search terms that recent vistitors found this site with:

From Yahoo!:
“Did M. Night Shymalan die”

From Google:
“onion of ancient egypt” Huh?

Books I've Read Recently

2006-03-13T22:53:00.000-06:00

It was asked recently on a writer’s email list I’m on what books we’ve read recently. Since I’ve been woefully inconsistent with my blogging lately, I thought I’d share this list with you folks as well.

First, books I'm reading and haven't had a chance to finish yet:

Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco
Some book about this kid named Harry who's got a lightning bolt tattooed to his forehead.
The Phantom Ship - Capt. Frederick Marryat
Paradise Lost - Milton

Books I've read recently (in no particular order):

Light in August
As I Lay Dying
Sound & the Fury
all by William Faulkner (for a class, so not sure if this really counts :-)
Significance: although I can't say he's one of my favorite authors yet, his style and what he wrote about is starting to grow on me.

Salem's Lot - King
Significance: yeah, right :-)

Something Wicked This Way Comes - Bradbury
Significance: his storytelling style is similar in some ways to Faulkner in that it's stream-of-consciousness and emotionally provocative. It makes for an interesting and incredibly unique read.

Dune - Frank Herbert
Significance: world building, world building, world building. There are and have been a lot of great SF authors who can create vivid worlds, but for my money, Herbert's got them all beat if for no other reason than that he was there first. I can still taste the hot sand and smell the spice. If he wasn't so enamored by a strange mixture of Bolshevist and Hindu/Eastern religion in his personal beliefs, I might have enjoyed him more :-)

The first Earthsea book - Ursula LeGuin

War of the Worlds
The Time Machine
The Invisible Man
by H.G. Wells
Significance: Wells is so ingrained in English-speaking culture I doubt he needs any explanation.

Inferno - Dante
What a fantastic tome. 13th century literature at it's best, IMHO. Who else could have gotten away with that? (Sometime look up the significance of hairy palms to a medieval audience...caveat emptor ;-)

Well at the World's End - William Morris (1834-96, no relation to the tobacco company :-)

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight - Who knows?

Frankenstein - Mary (Mrs. Percy B.) Shelley

The Castle of Otranto - Horace Walpole
Significance: The Horace Walpole school of writing:
1) Get fantastically rich on inheirted money.
2) Do all kinds of interesting, but entirely pointless things for the sheer adventure of it.
3) Write a hilariously cheeky book that will be considered by many as the first Gothic novel.
4) Get bored with writing after one book and never do *that* again.

The Princess Bride - William Goldman...I mean, S. Morganstern :-) Explain to me again why he did that, please?

Beowulf

Planet of the Apes - Pierre Boulle

The Dreamquest of Unknown Kaddath - H.P. Lovecraft

Gmail

2005-09-16T11:56:00.000-05:00

They keep bumping up the number of invitations I can give out if someone wants to try Google's Gmail.

My allotment of disk space is at 2.5 GB right now. It's still technically in beta, so there's hardly any advertising on it. I use all that disk space to archive my stories online for backup and so that I can easily get to them from anywhere.

If anyone wants to try out Gmail, then email me privately ( jon dot brisbin at gmail dot com) and I'll send an invite to you.

Input or Output

2005-09-15T17:13:00.000-05:00

I spend a great deal of my day just absorbing information. A lot of times I don't turn around and put that knowledge into something. I just absorb it. Today was a good example.

Besides my Modern Fantasy class, in which we discussed Jospeh Campbell's mono-myth theory, how Christianity rests on a "weak" logcial premise, yada yada, I spent a goodly portion of the day trying to figure out how in the heck I had broken this program I'd written. I was trying to make it work better; improve it, so to speak. In the end, I actually accomplished my goal, but I broke several things inside it first. So I had to read and research and get more information so I could figure out why it was broken and how could I fix it.

I'm a self-taught programmer. By self-taught I mean I learn by propping something up I don't fully understand, watching it fall, changing it slightly, putting it back up again, watching it fall, changing it a little more, prop it back up again (still not fully understanding it), yada yada... They say the first sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result. I see.

In programming there are basically two pipes of communication: data coming in (called input) and data going out (called output, oddly enough.) My days normally consist of managing vast quantities of input, distilling it down, and producing a weensie-teensie bit of output. Programming is like that. You have to absorb so much information to produce a small thing that is then judged based on it's apparent, relative size, instead of its unwieldy actual, relative size--which doesn't compute with management, given the amount of time you said it would take and how much you said it would cost.

Writing is like that too, I'm finding out. Vast truckloads of input are being dumped into my brain every day--whether I want it or not. I have to sift through all that chaff for the wheat or the dirt for the worms. I have to manage this input or lose it. A good writer has to process so much more information than what they eventually output that the small apparent relative size of their output is often judged as not being enough; not quick enough; not "good" enough (God forbid.) But that's just part of writing. It's hours and days and years of input input input. Then a little blip. Output. Maybe there's some sort of rule someone can attach their name to that recognizes that: the larger the exponent between what the writer's input and her output, the better the fiction. The more I read and observe people the better my writing gets. I can't explain it, it just works.

Input input input input input input input input. Blip. Output.

More Search Terms

2005-09-13T08:06:00.000-05:00

The referrers from search engines are a never-ending source of material for me. Here's a recent one:

"i'm getting dumber"

Quote from Joseph Pulitzer

2005-09-12T17:08:00.000-05:00

You know how conversations wander from one topic to the next, until you've gone so far from your original topic that the trip there becomes more important than what you were discussing? That happened to me today. I found this quote by Joseph Pulitzer after googling the name "Nellie Bly," which my wife had heard on a show my kids were watching this afternoon:

"Every issue of the paper presents an opportunity and a duty to say something courageous and true; to rise above the mediocre and conventional; to say something that will command the respect of the intelligent, the educated, the independent part of the community; to rise above fear of partisanship and fear of popular prejudice. I would rather have one article a day of this sort; and these ten or twenty lines might readily represent a whole day's hard work in the way of concentrated, intense thinking and revision, polish of style, weighing of words."

Joseph Pulitzer, 1911

The Perfect Church

2005-09-06T22:42:00.000-05:00

[From an email list I'm on, regarding frustrations with finding "the right church"]

> But those of you who are in a church, yet see many of the same things
> I also see, How do you deal with it?

Mostly by remembering that people are fallen, fallible beings. Keep in mind that we often hold other people to a higher standard than we're willing to commit to ourselves, particularly when it comes to church leadership, and particularly if those failings touch on raw nerves in areas of our own lives. If we were stumbling with something difficult, we probably would not be very uplifted by having someone explain to us where we went wrong, what we could have done differently, and then, in the end, disregard us on the basis of our failures--no matter how sincere we were when we set out. No church can survive, no matter large, if Christian love is extinct, dormant, or grudgingly given.

I am firmly in the camp of those that want to decry the warm-fuzzy (misleadingly labeled "seeker-oriented") churches and their focus on the external and passing emotions (a la Rick Warren/Saddleback christianity.) They grow their attendance for the same reasons that live concerts attract people: the energy and excitement of live performance. To thwart the Tired Debate That Will Not Be Named regarding worship style: I'm not confining that notion to, shall we say, musical preference, because that's such a small part of the service that it often has little effect on either drawing or keeping non-committal Christians in a pew. By "live performance" I simply mean the emotional reaction that many churches try to elicit from their parishioners through the Pavlovian reaction we have to large gatherings of people, fancy motion-graphics in the slide presentation, and professional-level audio production. It's all great stuff and can be used powerfully--but the world can only support a finite number Billy Graham knock-offs before reaching the saturation point.

In my own draining experience in different churches with competing agendas, competing communicative theologies, and hard-headed people (i.e. all of us,) I've found that the only thing really lacking in our churches is loving members that want to help, lift up, and support the work of the church. There's no shortage of theories on how to reach people, neither is there a lack of information on how to lead people in the most effective way. There is, in my opinion, a huge shortage of people who will throw themselves under the train if it will save a spiritual life (or lives.) It's simply a matter of too many chiefs and not enough indians (I could care less if that cliche is politically correct or not, it's still as effective today as when my then 85 year-old great grandmother taught me the concept.)

Now, to keep this within the realms of our discussions here: how do you "vent" this in a work of fiction? I think the first thing we all must do when approaching our fiction, especially if we're writing "Christian" fiction, is to ask ourselves if *we* would be interested in hearing what the story would have to say. Would we react positively to the work if it contained a rebuke we felt personally? Play devil's advocate and see how we would react to the same message, coming from the opposite perspective (yeah, but they're *wrong*, so that wouldn't count, right? ;-) Would it simply reaffirm what others believed, without being helpful to those who defend a different perspective? Not what would Jesus do, but what would we do? Read Chekhov's "A Blunder." It's a critique of common social constructs in pre-revolutionary Russia. But it's short (only a couple hundred words,) sweet, and to the point--and far more powerful than if he had come out and pointed a finger at the audience and, quite rightly, expounded on the flaws and hypocrisies in their own lives.

In the end, there may be almost nothing we can do about it. I was in that situation. I had lost my effectiveness because nobody wanted to listen to what I had to say, even though I still firmly believe that I was correct. I didn't say it in love. I wasn't patient. I wasn't forgiving. I was everything I was accusing them of being. Maybe that's why it angered me so much.

There is no magic bullet for all that ails the church in America today. It's not a simple problem, either. If it was simple, everyone would be fixing it because the solution would also be simple. But it's not. There is no perfect church. It's a fallacy we've built up in our minds to justify our own emotional responses to things we don't like. I attend a wonderful church now and we still have problems; we're not perfect. But we try to minister to each other as best we can, pick each other up when we go to far and fall on our faces, nurse each other's wounds, and work out our own salvation, as we're told to do. We're navigating the confusing currents of our post-modern (man, I hate that term) world together--and that's what makes all the difference.

Taking Your Craft Too Far

2005-08-30T17:02:00.000-05:00

I'm going to get tired of listening to a particularly annoying person in one of my classes this semester. I'm stating the obvious up front--figured I'd just get that out of the way so we can move on.

"But why?" You ask.

Good question. I think it's mainly their insistence on using fancy words (with an admiring exactitude, I might add) instead of just coming out with it. We were discussing the role of language in the fiction writer's style and their question was basically: "Can't a fiction writer use beautiful [sound of doves flapping away and a shaft of golden sunlight falling on dew-scented, green grass] language?"

In short, no. That's right. I said N-O, no. UNLESS, that's the whole purpose for the work. Like "Ulysses." A book I'm fairly sure has no real point, but is an excellent example of what a master artist can do with the right tools and the competency to use them.

But for those of us who want to write stuff that other people will actually want to read, I can offer no more guidance better than the ideas discussed in this post on the fact that "Craft Isn't Everything."

If we get too enthralled with our Art, we'll begin to think that the masterful execution of said Art is an actual, altrusic, and attainable goal. That to write a perfectly delightful sentence is the height of our artistic purpose. Phew, is it getting deep in here!

See, I don't like the notion we should thumb our nose at brevity, conciseness, and straightforwardness, in favor of a nose-elevating, brow-heightening, Mastery of The Mystical Craft. Do you distinctly remember any time in the Lord Of The Rings where you paused to appreciate a masterful application of the English language? A place where you jumped out of the narrative, just shy of the Misty Mountains, to enjoy a well-turned phrase? I don't. I've read the books a half-dozen times and I still can't explain to you what Tolkien's "style" was. As far as I can tell, he really didn't have any. Oh, I'm sure you could point to some minutiae that could be classified as Tolkien-esque, but you'd be hard-pressed to do it and you wouldn't have very stunning examples of it.

I think that's because Tolkien stepped back from his story and didn't force recognition of his (actual) mastery of the English language from the reader. He didn't want the reader to stop, reread, and appreciate an especially well-written sentence for the sake of the language. Not in those books anyway. In the appropriate venues he used the literati-lingo and when he wrote fiction, his style changed accordingly.

Maybe our fiction would improve drastically if we just took the time to remember that maybe, just like the tree that actually doesn't make any noise when it falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it (noise is perceived, not generated, for those still hanging back there and not wanting to move forward until that intellectual quandary is resolved,) then maybe Art isn't "appreciated" if no one is there to "hear" it (or read it.)

More Recent Search Hits

2005-08-29T13:01:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how people end up at your website. I recently got a referrer from Google. The search term?

"die by trying to suck"

Excuse me?

Don't You Have Anything Better To Do?

2005-08-26T16:14:00.000-05:00

My wife chastised me a little bit today for blogging. Her argument was that it's an inherently egotistical endeavor, drains time from more important things, and is. . . well. . .just plain silly.

Rick, over at The Right-Wing Nuthouse is "unemployed by choice" and "financially comfortable," so he enjoys the freedom of taking the time to craft his relatively long essays and basically spend as much time as he wants online. The rest of us have to work blogging into our incredibly busy schedules. Juggling work, kids, blogging, (and for me, school,) can be stressful. Is it worth it, when it's all said and done? And yes, I'm using cliches throughout this post. That's part of the problem of blogging: you usually don't have enough time to think of a better phrase.

I'm not sure I could articulate my wife's objections to my interest in blogging and not make a mountain out of a molehill. But to rashly generalize: she's not totally opposed to the idea, she just doesn't see the point. I think one of her big beef's with blogging is the self-serving nature of getting other people to read and respond to your opinions.

Another qualm she has with blogging in general is that the topics are often "me, me, me" and "look what I did" and "I really enjoy this." She gets bored with some of the blogs see reads (when I make her) fairly quickly because there's very little she sees as relevant to society in general.

To over-simply her argument: "Blogging is primarily self-cenetered; who wants to read about what neat things your kids did every single day; and, don't you have anything better to do?"

While I don't agree with her take on blogging entirely, I think she raises some good points. Are we really too concentrated on ourselves and what we can get out of blogging? Is the blogosphere too self-centered, ego, and personality-centric?

Maybe we need to think about these things a little more. . .

Boy Does This Topic Make People Angry

2005-08-24T12:39:00.000-05:00

Editor's Note: This version is slightly different than my actual email. I tried to limit myself to only fixing typos and grammatical errors but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to give this version a little more "zing."

Do you have any idea what sex is?

[ snip ]

The correct answer is, Of course you don't know. No mortal does. You don't, I don't, Paul even intimated that he didn't. (Then again, he was almost certainly a virgin, or anyway he had fewer than twelve years experience, so he probably had nothing to teach anyone. He should've shut up.) It's a Mystery, and that was my whole point. Not that I know more than you do, but that we are all faced with something so profound that a thousand years' experience is still a virgin by comparison. It's so easy to forget the magnitude of the issues we deal with. That was the point.

There are two things that bother me for the rest. The first is that you seem hell-bent on attributing to me a position that I do not hold and that I CLEARLY could not hold in light of my earlier posts on the topic. If I thought that we should never, ever talk about sexual matters, why did I mention (and even approve of) Janette Oake's and Grace Livingston Hill's work in that direction? If I had been the Puritan caricature that you're trying to make me, I would have advocated burning their books, wouldn't I? So my position must be something else. I notice that you didn't charge me with inconsistency, so I suppose you must realize this. (For that matter, even the Puritans didn't hold the "Puritan" position you refer to. It's a bogey and nothing more.)

So why did you go out of your way to misunderstand what I still think is not an abstruse position? I have theories, but I'd rather not pursue them. But if the tone of your responses is anything to go by, sex is not the issue you should concentrate on, but matters far more foundational. And until that happens, I am not sure you have much of value to teach even a virgin on any topic.

I'm sorry I apparently offended you by my earlier post. I didn't mean to intentionally create conflict--especially on a topic that doesn't have much bearing on either our salvation, or our overarching theology. It's also important for you to understand that I don't completely disagree with you. I think, in some areas at least, you've presented a compelling argument.

But to say I'm suggesting you're a book-burner; completely averse to sexuality in Christian fiction; that I "go out of [my] way to misunderstand" your position on this matter; that I have "foundation[al]" issues (which I take to mean you think my understanding of scripture is, in an unspecified percentage, wrong); and that I "don't have much of value to teach even a virgin on any [emphasis mine] topic"? That goes entirely too far. The last statement, in particular, seems to have come more from anger than logic--and your suggestion you have "theories. . .[you'd] rather not pursue"? What does that mean, exactly? It would be unfair and loveless to document the inferences I drew (and had to squash, with the Lord's help) from this sentence.

If the elders of my church thought what you've stated or implied, then they wouldn't have asked me to be a member of the board.

If the chairman of that board and one of our youth pastors (Godly and discerning men, by any account) thought what you're suggesting, then they wouldn't be encouraging me to become involved in areas of our church's ministries that would be considered influential.

I also wouldn't be a substitute Sunday School teacher for the adult class. By the way, those that attend Sunday School very much enjoy my lessons, when I have the privilege of teaching, and have said they are excited to be a part of them.

I wouldn't currently teach a Sunday School class for our college-age group and be part of our Sunday-night college-age ministry.

Am I bragging about these things? Come on. Anything I'm entrusted with is because Christ has seen fit to allow me to have it. He deserves the credit there. I wouldn't be able to do any of this if Christ didn't think it was a good idea :-)

My church knows me better than any email list member or reader of my blog (unless, of course, those list members/blog readers are members of my church ;-) so I think the judgement you've made regarding the value, depth, and veracity of my knowledge is best left to them.

Dispassionately speaking, and in light of these things I've mentioned, the argument you've made is interesting, but ultimately difficult to defend with hard facts. I can't come to any other conclusion due to the the facts I've presented and my personal experience with the Elders in my church. I say these things in the most dispassionate, non-confrontational, and anti-prideful way I know how. I've tried not to approach this topic with emotional passion, but attempt to be logical, rational, and utterly objective.

Of course, I fully accept that I might not be entirely correct in my assertion of what amount/style of sexuality is or is not appropriate for a Christian who writes fiction. I would never suggest that I'm Solomon-esque wise such that my interpretation of Christ's teachings in this area are definitive, or better than others'. Here, we probably come closer to agreeing than what it seem. You state that I'm "hell-bent on attributing to [you] a position that [you] do not hold and that [you] CLEARLY could not hold in light of [your] earlier posts on the topic." This could maybe be attributed to my misunderstanding of what I've perceived you were originally saying. I hope you will accept my apology at making you feel like I'm trying to be antagonistic. I'm simply not.

As for our differing opinions on the definition of the word "puritanical": I think we should chalk that up to a difference of opinion. I know that what our society perceives as being Puritan belief regarding sexuality is not necessarily historical or consistent with what they actually believed. But in the context in which I used that term, I was trying to call up the perception our society has regarding the idea of "puritanical" belief. Whether the feelings invoked by the use of that term is historically accurate or not is immaterial to my point.

I want to communicate to you that I wasn't trying to be antagonistic. I wasn't trying to suggest that you somehow have "incorrect" or "inferior" beliefs because I happen to disagree with you. I don't feel like I'm "hell-bent" on attributing feelings to you that you don't feel you hold. In fact, I'm not "hell-bent" on anything, really.

But I can't say that the logic so far expressed to me by critics of my feelings regarding sexuality in Christian fiction is at all compelling. No one has offered any "proof" of its being "special," "different," or "more private" than topics like alcoholism, abuse, gambling, or any of the other incredibly private issues Christians deal with--sometimes on a daily basis. Many of us talk about (and are encouraged to talk about) our sexuality in an extremely public setting. Does this mean that fiction is different and that other public settings are okay? What litmus test should we use, then, to decide which public forum is acceptable and which is not.

I simply don't see how sexuality is "inherently private," in the context of our debate, and should not be discussed in fiction written by Christians, when we inarguably enjoy open season on a great many other topics that are just as private, just as personal, and just as potentially dangerous if taken to extremes (or out of context) as our sexuality.

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Letter to the Principal Regarding a Bullying Problem With my Son

2005-08-24T00:52:00.000-05:00

My son Jackson and I had an hour-long discussion tonight about the ongoing bullying he's experiencing from K K. Jack graciously gave me permission to discuss this issue with the Middle School staff--in fact he sincerely encouraged it.

This bullying has been going on since grade school (six years is Jack's estimate, though I'm not sure that's completely accurate--it's been a number of years at any rate) and, unfortunately, Jack and K have the same schedule this year. K's insistence on sitting next to Jack in class and his bullying in the boy's bathroom, the halls, and other places, hidden from the watchful eyes of teachers, seems to be affecting his ability to concentrate on learning and is contributing to increasingly severe self-confidence problems. I wouldn't classify these problems as "dangerous" quite yet, but my wife and I are understandably concerned.

I fully understand that coming to terms with the actions of boys with larger physical stature and an innate ability to intimidate their peers is part-and-parcel with the public school experience. I'm not expecting you, or any of Jack's teachers, to eliminate the bullying altogether. We discussed the fact that he will always have to deal with people like K throughout his college (assuming he chooses to go that route) and work career. I'm concerned, however, that the degradation of Jack's self-confidence over these past 4-6 years--for the most part because of K's persistent antagonizing--is detrimental to my son's academic success.

I tried my best to encourage him tonight. I carefully armed him with some strategies to turn the antagonism he's experiencing into humor, which I've always found far less draining than the bullying he's described to me so far. I also communicated to him that I fully support defending himself against physical aggression. I know that's frowned upon in today's public school system, but there it is. I did make it clear that it was a last resort, and a defense that is far less effective than humor, sarcasm, role-reversal, or reverse psychology; but one of K's most effective weapons thus far has been his physical superiority. Jack could go a long way towards being less affected by K's bullying if he got over his fear of K's physical size and his ability to intimidate (but lacking the wherewithal to back up that bravado.)

I sincerely believe that somewhere inside K is a really good kid just waiting to be encouraged to emerge. But just this week Jack described a situation in which K grabbed his throat and tried to choke him. He's told me before that he's been the victim of other kinds of physical aggression. Things like punching and similarly demeaning "abuse," while understandable, seems to be increasing to such severity that--in Jack's situation at least--it's becoming inarguably inappropriate. I hesitate to use the term "abuse" because physical aggression is natural for boys just coming to terms with their masculinity and it has dangerous connotations if the person using it has some intention of "punishing" someone (in this instance, I believe unfairly.)

I don't know of a solution for this problem other than that Jack be made to understand why bullies feel the need to bolster their self-esteem by bringing others down. From what Jack has described to me, I sincerely believe there's a part of K that wants to be friends with Jack; however, that desire--admittedly an interpretation based on pure conjecture--is overshadowed by the demeaning attitude Jack perceives on an almost daily basis. Around teachers, Jack has told me that K is deceptive in exhibiting his antipathy (to use a harsh word) for my son. It's only when K thinks others aren't watching that he seems to make his seemingly real feelings known.

I know that you--or any of your staff--don't have the time to keep such an intense eye on K that would reveal this bullying in action. I accept that. But I thought, at the least, it might be beneficial to make you aware of this problem. I would hope you communicate my concerns to Jack's teachers so they could be a little more vigilant, assuming they have the time. If not, then I'll simply say: I turned out okay, even though I didn't have special attention paid to my bullying problem. At that time, such a thing was considered more a character-building experience than anything.

Thank you for your time to read this long email! I look forward to hearing your thoughts about this and--thinking optimistically--your plans for working towards a more comfortable and successful learning career for my first-born. He's just now having to learn what it's like to go out into the world and deal with all sorts of people with all sorts of personalities.

I also hope you don't think I harbor any ill will towards K or his family. Having experienced the problem of bullying myself, I know first-hand how much damage can be wrought upon the relationship between the children involved and, more so, their parents. I intensely desire to avoid those problems and hope that you and your staff can take care of this bullying problem in a discreet way that doesn't damage any relationships--or at least doesn't damage them beyond repair. I don't know you very well, but I get the impression that that is not an unrealistic expectation. And hey, that's what you get paid for, right ;-)

It might be a good idea if Jack discussed some of this with the school counselor. My wife would very much like that to take place. Please email me at this address, or use MSN Instant Messenger at "[ MSN Passport ID ]" to contact me. Both are much more easy to communicate with us than trying to catch our busy family at home, via telephone.

Again, thanks for your time. I hope to be hearing from you soon.

More Search Terms REDUX

2005-08-23T16:01:00.000-05:00

I blogged about an essay I had to do last fall when we were covering "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." It was a character analysis I did on nurse Ratched (dumb idea to facilitate academic plagerism by posting the whole paper, I know) and I'm getting several people coming here using those search terms.

Are they looking for a pre-manufactured paper they can download and turn in, or are they just looking for background information? If it's the former. . .tsk, tsk [finger wag].

Write your own character analysis! ;-) I got a C (deservedly) on that one, anyway, so they're not getting much benefit from it.

More Strange Search Terms

2005-08-23T15:52:00.000-05:00

I got a referrer from Lycos using the search terms "nurse" and "vaseline."

Someone please explain this to me :-)

And I thought "Jesus with Additcs" was unusual!

Discussion of Carnal Knowledge Redux

2005-08-22T11:15:00.000-05:00

In response to a comment on my previous post:

I never suggested Christian authors give a Kama-Sutra-esque account of a couple's sexual encounters. Never. But to say that sexuality should be the exculsive topic of non-fiction, instructional, or even scholarly works is, in my opinion (which is worth what you pay for it, by the way :-), puritanical.

"Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies." (Song of Solomon 4:5)

Is this scripture opening the door to Satan by putting in the reader's mind a pair of breasts? I don't think God would have allowed such a thing to be included in the Old Testament canon if that was the case. "But that's God. He can do what He wants because He has better discernment than we do," you can say--and I would whole-heartedly agree. But why would He give humans an intensely creative bent, a spirit of sharing our experiences through stories, and a free will if He didn't want us to use them? Of course no one can claim to fully live up to the expectations God has for us. In fact, I'm a sinner "worse" than some of you dear readers and would never be so arrogant as to assume that I could always meet His expectations and be "always right." But to not even try? What if that still, small voice prompting someone to approach sexuality in their writing actually isn't simply "heretical" sexual drive? Fear of being imperfect or making a mistake is Satan's most effective tool in getting Christians to stay put and keep their big mouths shut.

I will probably have have to keep repeating the following disclaimer, no matter how long and detailed an explanation I give concerning my previous post: I am not, in any way, shape, or form, suggesting that a Christian author go so far as to describe, in titillating detail, a couple's sexual escapades (having pointed this out several times, further criticizing my arguemnt on the premise that I think we should work kinky sex scenes into our novels is a wast of everyone's time and will probably be ignored--just a warning.) I'm actually advocating--assuming it's appropriate in the context of the story--that a Christian author who enjoys the benefits of an intense and healthy sexual relationship with their spouse give hope to those who don't.

And to say that we have to be a psychologist or certified marriage counselor (an exaggeration of the previous commenter's concept. . .I know, I know) before we attempt to convey our own joy at having a healthy sexual relationship with our spouse is to disregard the inarguable fact that "unqualified" authors frequently infuse their own scriptural interpretation and theological analysis in their work (Left Behind being an excellent example.) I sincerely beleive it is illogical and unfair to apply a different standard of "expertise" to authors when it comes to sexuality than that applied to nearly every other topic. I think God made sex powerful and wonderful because He intended for us to have babies and heal/intensify the spousal relationship. Why should we not discuss that?

Arguing whether sexuality belongs in fiction written by an author admitting his Christian relationship or not doesn't change the fact that we should not be (but have been) silent on this issue. Especially since the secular world is unabashedly using sexuality very effectively to further their own, destructive and ungodly goals.

Carnal Knowledge of Your Spouse in Christian Fiction

2005-08-21T03:56:00.000-05:00

Posted this morning to a Christian writer's mailing list:

[WHILE THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY ZERO "INAPPROPRIATE" WORDS IN THIS POST, the topic of sexuality is so fraught with controversy that the de facto reaction to discussion of said topic is often considered "inappropriate." That's why I've chosen to use what you might consider archaic expressions. I'm sure you'll get my drift, though.]

I know my position on this matter is going to be misunderstood--and maybe angrily disagreed with--no matter what I do. I can't help that. I've also been a member of this list for some time and know that this topic, or variations of it, come up "ever so off'n," as we say 'round these parts. Despite that, I'm bringing this up again for three reasons: I feel strongly about it; I can assure you with something just short of a guarantee (would that be considered a "lawyerspeak" or something similar to a "manufacturer's warrantee"?) that I'm approaching this topic from a different angle than what I've seen discussed so far; and it's been "laying heavily on my heart," to use the requisite christianese phraseology.

The topic of sexuality in "Christian fiction" (for the purposes of this discussion, assume I mean fiction either distributed through CBA member stores or written by acknowledged, practicing believers of Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, and assume that, for sexuality, I mean. . .if you need that explained, well. . .) is nigh on taboo. Unfortunately, considering that my calling is to write fiction, that could mean I might get passed over by, say, Bethany House (I adore Bethany House, by the way; I actually review manuscripts for them; I'm just using them as an admittedly inexact example of the CBA stereotype that comes to mind for most people) because I might have a [pipe dream] novel published by Knopf [end pipe dream] that shows the reader how intense a bond can be formed, for better or worse, between two sexually active people. Does that mean I endorse scenes designed to stimulate the reader for no reason than that stimulation is marketable and "rebellious"? Of course not. Some will read this essay and think otherwise but if I'm referencing Solomon in this exposition of my passionately held ideas, then please don't psychoanalyze what I'm saying here and go to *my* bibliographic source: the Old Testament.

I hope this doesn't create a firestorm of emails and get me banned from CF2, but I have been thinking critically (in the academic sense, not the obnoxiously pessimistic sense) about the pseudo-puritanical aversion that most CBA readers seem to share regarding discussions of intimate sexuality--even when it's set in the frame that God designed for it: a man and woman becoming one in marriage. I know, I know. I've heard all the arguments (unless there are new ones--there's probably always new ones) why the CBA will currently accept only pseudo-Jane Austen and not Balzac in their fiction.

They do it because their readers demand it, they want to do what they feel is best (well, the ones that aren't puppeteered by decidedly unchristian, mutli-billion dollar, multi-cultural, multi-national conglomerates anyway,) and because they affix the moniker "Christian" to their business. But I also wonder if the muckety-mucks--a term I learned in the military, bestowed primarily on paper-pushing, sometimes incompetent, questionably qualified command-level officers--have had a pow-wow and determined that discussions of sexuality should be obtuse, "as pure as the wind-driven snow"--to use a cliche--and steer comfortably (comfortable for whom I'm not entirely sure) away from the quicksand of denominational dogma and anything resembling a "gray area," which would demand a spiritual judgement call on behalf of the reader. I know that these content restrictions are primarily driven by market conditions and the fear of grass-roots boycotts, a la the Walt Disney company.

The biggest argument against passionate intimacy in "CBA fiction" is the same one used in this country for decades: we might be construed as condoning immorality by talking about sexuality (at least in any way that is less than sanitized enough to eat off of) in our fiction. Despite what you might think, I actually AM sympathetic to that. I WOULD NEVER suggest that a Christian write a purely titillating account of an unmarried couple "having a good time" in Cancun, or explicitly describe the escapades of homosexual twosome (I'm sorry: I just can't bring myself to use the term "couple" there) in the cabin next to the aforementioned boyfriend/girlfriend--who will probably (eventually) marry have a child then divorce, all within seven years.

But showing how inferior and empty that kind of soul-sucking flash-in-the-pan straw dog can be? Showing the fleeting nature of those relationships, which are apparitions almost on the edge of your peripheral vision; kaleidoscopic rainbows refracted through a spiritual prism--pretty to look at, but akin to the guy decided to build his house himself, on (or "upon," for the King James fans) the sand, and not the guy that wisely contracted the thing out so it was done right: foundation on the r-o-c-k rock.

Solomon had the chutzpa to get "jiggy" in his po-ems. I take that back: he was down right suggestive. That beloved schizophrenic (hey, *God* loved him--of course God loves *anyone* :-) gave us his drippingly romantic--some would say. . .okay *I* would say, being an unfeeling and unromantic alpha male--sentimental reflections on the passionate act (the whole 5 minutes or so) he enjoyed with his wife [Begin completely unrelated tangent: whom most scholars believe was the Queen of Sheba. Also, Solomon's stable of, well, more wives than you can shake a stick at (or keep happy and still maintain any semblance of sanity,) were probably women holding a title that means something quite different than those who resided in an Arabian Sultan's harem. Concubines, you ask? I don't know. Times were, shall we say, quite different from today. End completely unrelated tangent.] But you get the idea that he really enjoyed "becoming one" with his Queen.

So what's the bottom line? (That's not a rhetorical question, by the way.) Are we afraid we might inadvertently glorify immorality by frankly discussing sexuality in our fiction? Are we afraid that, by arousing the most universal and undeniably powerful (put there by God himself, I might throw in) human emotion we might awaken a sort of "Dracula" from his slumber, bent on pillaging the countryside and spreading his plague of evil? [I'm being incredibly obtuse here to illustrate a point. *Please* don't read into that analogy any more than you can help.] That's an important consideration for any author or publisher wanting to publicly identify themselves as "Christian."

But why can't we communicate to our readers how healing and essential, or manipulative and harmful--depending on how you choose to approach the situation--it can be to share an active and intense two-in-one communion with someone? What about letting others know how beneficial, healing, and essential such a communion can be? Are we just afraid of the "gray area" surrounding this topic? IN NO WAY AM I TRYING TO BE ANTAGONISTIC HERE, but do some authors even know what it's like to be completely one with your spouse--like it's mentioned in Genesis 2:24, but primarly quoted from Ephesians 5:31, about the two becoming one [Recited at almost every protestant wedding. I haven't been to too many--okay one--Catholic weddings, so I can't speak for that ceremony]? Is it that, for some folks, the most intimate part of our marital relationship is so strained, uncomfortable to think about, or even shriveled and dormant, that it can't even be talked about with an intimate friend, let alone in slicing open open the chest and displaying the heart for public inspection and possibly ridicule (or encouragement, if you're a "glass half full" kind of person)?

There are no easy answers to the discussion of sexuality and it's role in fiction labeled as overtly "Christian." Kevin Lehman's book, while non-fiction, is shunned by some because it is so frank, but adored by others for the same reason. It sold quite well and continues to do so, leaving the impression that it's still a topic of almost embarrassing interest to today's Christians. The LaHaye's have written on the husband-wife bedroom relationship issue as well. Neither Lehman nor the LeHaye's focused (or even geared) their discussion toward authors, stories, or fiction. But both books were quite successful and prove that Christians want to hear from other people (whether that's good or bad is a topic for another, probably lengthy discussion,) if they are permitted to discuss their passions and desires in Sunday School or around Christian friends. I'm fortunate enough to be involved in a church where I can discuss sexuality and even the act of love-making openly (in private, of course,) and in Christian love. I know many don't have that same confidence and suffer silently with the feeling that such matters are not appropriate for a "good christian" to discuss.

On an anthropological note, maybe one reason the so-called "sexual revolution" accumulated so much momentum and created a puritanical aversion to all things sexual--in no less than three generations--was that Christians were so ambivalent (and in many cases unjustifiably dogmatic, to be brutally objective) that they threw away a lucrative opportunity to minister to millions of impressionable young people that were agonizingly, analytically, and passionately searching--begging, even--for meaning and some form of spirituality. In our silence or judgementalism, the Christian family squandered an opportunity to provide them an alternative to the eventually irresistible temptation--having been given no adequately articulated alternative--of Humanism, Mysticism, carnal immorality, and astounding volumes of mind-numbing chemicals. I realize that a brave regiment here and there gave it their best effort at charging the bulwark. But, unfortunately their numbers and capability to mount a large-scale, organized campaign were simply not sufficient to rebuff the persistent attacks of emotional decision-making, disguised as "evolved" logic championed by the likes of Ginsberg, Kesey, Lenon, Vonnegut and their saints: Huxley, Hesse, Whitman, and Wordsworth--to name a scant few.

I wouldn't begin to suggest that I have a clue how to knock down these sticky wickets. I'm utterly ignorant and completely unskilled at cricket, so others will have to do the "real work." I just hope that this extraordinarily long essay can in some way resonate with anyone. I pray that it does for a selfish reason: I'd hate to think I spent five hours on an essay. . .and it be entirely bunk.

What In the World Are They Looking For?

2005-08-20T20:50:00.000-05:00

Here's a recent search engine result that brought a visitor here:

"Pictures of Jesus with Addicts"

Hmmm... That's just strange :-)

Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian

2005-08-17T18:11:00.000-05:00

If you listen to the audio book, does that count as having read the book? I hope so, because I'm in the middle of reading/listening to Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian. Although the premise that a couple of quasi-amateur historians are looking for Dracula is a little worn since Stoker's classic, the story is masterfully told with enough modern twists to keep it interesting.

Having nursed a secret desire to one day become a antiquarian and rare book dealer, the amount of mediaeval manuscript research is fascinating to me. Her writing is crisp, clear, and professional. What you'd expect from a Yale graduate with an MFA.

If you are bored with books, the middle ages, or anything relating to Dracula (either the real-life Vlad Tepes or his vampiric alter-ego,) then this long adventure through modern-day Turkey, Romania, Bulgaria, and Hungary might not be all that interesting to you. But if you're like me and love the thought of combing through musty piles of 600 year-old documents, then I would suggest you read The Historian.

Bored At Work

2005-08-12T11:07:00.000-05:00

I'm glad to find out I'm not the only one that is suffering from this work-related boredom pandemic:

Boredom Numbs the Work World

On the Legitimacy of Magic in Fantasy Literature

2005-08-11T10:22:00.000-05:00

Here's a great article on Fantasy and Magic in literature and how a Christian should respond to that.

On the Legitimacy of Magic in Fantasy Literature

Hat tip to the JollyBlogger for the link.

Duality: Light and Dark

2005-08-11T09:40:00.000-05:00

Since I'm working on my BA in Creative Writing, I'm exposed to the "traditional" style of creative writing, which lifts up darkness, suffering, pain, and hurt over light, joy, happiness, and peace. When anyone in my class tries to write a "happy" story, they are criticized for being too "Hallmark" or too "easy." I always defend them and have been gaining a reputation for always approaching my critiques of a story from an optimistic, rather than a pessimistic attitude. I am often laughed at because of that and I get the feeling that I am somewhat disregarded, however unintentionally, because of my optimism.

Intelligencia tells us that the intense feelings of pain, hurt, and suffering are the only way to impart emotional impact in a story. It is much more difficult to really communicate love, joy, and peace in literature than it is hurt and pain. The latter are easily communicated and understood by the reader, which helps to form that necessary emotional bond between audience and author.

I don't think I could adequately communicate my deep, theological thoughts on this issue, because I'm not sure I understand them myself, but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.

I'm remembering a conversation that my Dad and I had last night about the "natural" state of human existence (my father and I have deep, theological discussions frequently) which is death, darkness, and 0 degrees Kelvin (don't ask how the 0 degree Kelvin thing came into the discussion; I don't remember. :-) I think artistic expression, being an element of creation and a shadow of one aspect of God, has a similar "lowest common denominator" or absolute zero starting point just like the physical world. The natural state of Man's being is darkness, pain, and suffering. The reason? No light. Darkness is actually non-existent. There is no such thing as darkness because it's only an absence of light. When there is no light, we call that dark, but true darkness (i.e. not what astrophysicists call "dark matter") is not a particle or piece of matter or energy that causes something to be dark. It's simply a term we use to distinguish something that has no energy or life in it because it has no light in it.

As a Christian who writes, I'm mindful of the struggle between the natural state of my being (the unlighted, hurting, painful side) and the lighted side which Christ brought into my life. The latter is infinitely more difficult to communicate to another person through any artistic medium, but particularly through the written word. I often wonder if God created artistic expression to give us an alternative method of communication when our normal methods of relating spiritual matters fail. But it's hard. Really hard. I never thought it would be so hard.

I guess what I'm trying to say in a long, disjointed, and rambling way is that darkness is our natural state of being. If we are going to be relevant to someone in Man's natural state of being, then we should be mindful that sometimes things will appear to be blindingly lit with Christ's light. If we want our fiction to be effective, I think we need to keep this in mind. It's like turning on the bedroom light in the middle of the night, when you're eyes are adjusted to the dark. We have a lot of people reading our work (Christians are no exception here, unfortunately) who are basically shriveled up and dormant. I think our work, as Christians, should be properly prepared soil, well-lit to be sure, but that only comes after the plant has sprouted and pushed up into the light.

Don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I'm NOT saying we should gloss over, cover up, or otherwise obscure Christianity to make it "palatable" to non-Christians. I'm actually proposing the opposite: that we should not just be mindful of the effect of Christ's light on someone in darkness, but to dig deep, cut to the jugular, and shine His light on things, be it in measured increments. If you do turn the bedroom light on in the middle of the night, how will people react? "Oh thank you, I'm so glad you turned on the light!" No? That's not how I would react. I would grab the heaviest book I could lay my hands on and chuck it at them.

All this is to say that I don't think we should write off the joyful, peaceful, and (dare I say it) happy nature of things in favor of that which can be communicated quickly and efficiently (and with far less talent) than the former. But I also don't think we can accurately capture true joy or true peace without understanding what those things are, or without using Man's natural state as a foil to compare and contrast. I suspect that a lack of understanding of what Joy and Peace are is the big stumbling block, though. If we don't understand them, then we try to communicate them in inferior ways, which leads to the complaint of work that is campy or "Hallmarky" with sentimentality. But I also don't think we should drive around with our bright lights on all the time and get mad at people when they react to that. Again, I'm not saying that we should water ourselves down. I'm saying we should distill ourselves into a more pure and potent form. We should become MORE interested in spiritual matters, not less. We should be talking MORE about God, not less. But in doing that, we ought to keep in mind that Paul himself said he had become "all things to all men so that I might win some."

We can't win someone to Christ through a book. Only a personal relationship with a real human can lead a person through the confusing slurry of emotions to faith in Christ. I think we should therefore de-emphasize campy tent-revival proselytization in favor of Flannery O'Connor-style hard-hitting spiritual questions. I think there is an audience (hopefully large enough to support several authors, since I don't intend on making a career out of writing for nothing :-) that is longing, aching, and dying of thirst for work that is lit up with life and doesn't shy away from the tough and painful consequences of living in a fallen universe that is slowly dying from the cancerous tumor that is Sin. I pray that I can use the talents God has currently entrusted in me and multiply them many times over so that when I am asked to return them, I can give Him back more than I was given.

I probably should do some work today.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

2005-08-10T08:23:00.000-05:00

Someone posted this to one of my writer's lists I subscribe too. It is really pretty funny, but in an intellectual way, not a Princess Bride sort of funny. More a geeky (or British) sort of way.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

It's Just Funny

2005-08-07T08:27:00.000-05:00

This has nothing to do with writing, but I found this post one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. International Hug-A-Squirrel day! Ha!

Some Strange and Curious Punishments

2005-08-04T08:54:00.000-05:00

Just posted on Project Gutenberg's website:

Some Strange and Curious Punishments, Ticknor, 1886

It's a pretty interesting look at punitive correction in Ye Olde New England. Some of it seems extraordinarily harsh by today's standards, but I would hate to judge, over 300 years removed. It was a different, and harder time then. There wasn't such a thing as real personal liberty. Civil peace was maintained with great and undaunting zeal.

I enjoy reading this stuff in part because my job is boring, but mostly because it gives me a rich historical context for possible stories. I think that's where some writers shoot themselves in the foot: the refuse to experience life. I think you have to continuously put new information into your head about other times, other cultures in other times, and just the life experiences of people past and present. When it comes time to sit in front of the PowerBook (you do a Mac, don't you? No? Tsk. Tsk.,) you have a much richer palette of colors to inspire your work. Without it, you'll get writer's block and maybe give up, thinking you can't write that story you're working. Well, you can, but first you just need a little more back story, or some cultural pastiche, or a better understanding of the life your character would have lived.

Gutenberg.org is a never-ending supply of real-life history. By that, I mean, there are speeches people gave, diaries, newspapers, periodicals, &c. Try it, you'll like it!

Gutenberg.org

The Flying Dutchman

2005-08-03T18:24:00.000-05:00

I've been enjoying Frederick Marryat's retelling of the Flying Dutchman, The Phantom Ship.

It's a great adventure tale so far. Marryat was a fantastic storyteller and his writing is crisp, clear, and interesting. A highly recommended read.

FROM BEING TO NOTHINGNESS

2005-07-29T15:59:00.000-05:00

FROM BEING TO NOTHINGNESS

The Life and Suicide of Hunter S. Thompson

By David Griffith

The Druids

2005-07-29T15:28:00.000-05:00

I've been doing some research on the Welsh traditions and, by extension, the Druids, for a possible novel set on the Isle of Anglesey.

Here's some interesting information from a site I visit frequently: Irish Druids And Old Irish Religions

Feels Good to be Back

2005-07-28T12:23:00.000-05:00

I've had a little bit of a hiatus while getting used to going back to school at 32 and 5 kids and so on.

I felt pretty proud of myself the other day: I wrote a 1,000-word short story in one sitting. It was for a short story competition. I missed the deadline, but at least I've got a workable story that I'll send off to the literary mags.

It feels good to be writing again.

Downloadable dictionary

2005-01-22T13:42:00.000-06:00

I've found a great downloadable dictionary that you can install to your laptop or PC and not have to be online to use. The personal edition is free, but for $20 you get the Pro version, which gives you fuzzy searches and stuff.

It's called WordWeb

One thing I like about this software that I haven't seen in any other software is its ingenious use of cross-referencing words and it's easy interaction with other software. If you're in Word and want to look up a word, just highlight it, and hit your pre-defined hotkey (by default Ctl+Alt+W). The little box pops up instantaneously with the definition, a list of close results in case you misspelled it, a list of synonyms, and "also try"s.

It's a great little piece of software to help improve your writing by letting get a better command of the English language (or any of their other downloadable languages :-)

Now That That's Over With...

2004-11-05T08:35:00.000-06:00

Now that the election is finally over (thank God, in more ways than one, ;-) we can finally get on with the important stuff, like writing.

I don't know about you, but I haven't felt very creative these last few months. There was just too much negativity in the air. I tend to fret and worry over things I can't control often, which drags down my creativity.

I did manage to do some re-writing on a short story based on the translated diary of a Japanese soldier that my grandfather brought back from the island of Saipan, where he was stationed during WWII. It's a compelling document and I weaved in a fictional character reading the diary while there in the jungle.

Now that I think about it, I should probably post the diary itself. Since it's friday and I don't want to work much today anyway, I think I'll do that this afternoon.

Armageddon

2004-10-29T12:57:00.000-05:00

It's too close to the election to ignore what's going on in the world, even as a writer--maybe especially as a writer.

Lest you forget what it is we're fighting against (and I include myself in this, being that I did four tours to Saudi Arabia as part of Air Force intelligence when Sadaam invaded Kuwait THE SECOND TIME), read this frightening story about how the Iranian moo-lahhs are pontificating on what can only be called a biblical Armageddon:

Iranian talk of an attack on America

Point Of View

2004-10-26T11:51:00.000-05:00

We're discussing POV in my fiction class. One thing I found interesting about delving into this confusing subject is the notion of the "implied author."

The Implied Author is NOT the author. That's an important point to remember. In non-fiction, it's okay for the author to intrude upon the audience. In fiction, however, the author should not be visible. The important reason is that the subtext to what's being said, acted, or described, is provided by the implied author. The implied author is the stable, unmoving foundation that an unreliable narrator rests upon. It's okay to have a wacky narrator that you can't believe IF the implied author is stable and consistent.

I think this is where a lot of fiction breaks down. If the implied author isn't consistent in tone and subtext, then the reader falls away from the story. There's nothing for them to hold on to. If the implied author is strong, stable, and consistent, then the reader will follow you much further. Whether they like where they're going or not is another question.

Stanley Kubrick on A Clockwork Orange

2004-10-18T13:17:00.000-05:00

I watched Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange on IFC last night.

It was the "X" rated version, due to the nudity early on in the film. Now that I've seen this film a couple of times, I was better able to follow it. It takes seeing it a couple of times to figure out what's going on. I've read the book, by Anthony Burgess, which helps, but it's still a trip.

Thanks for the Link

2004-10-18T13:09:00.000-05:00

Joe, over at The Word Foundry has offered some kind words about my little rant the other day.

His blog is a regular read for me. He's tracking his writing progress in a novel (no pun intended) way: he's updating his word count regularly. Shunning accountability like I do, I cringe at the thought of posting my progress [shudder] on any of the writing projects I've got underway. It would be more depressing than helpful, I think.

Check him out!

Keep On Dreaming

2004-10-13T20:49:00.000-05:00

I'm on several writing-related email lists and always get too much traffic to keep up with. This one caught my eye, though. Now that I'm taking the difficult route of working on a Creative Writing degree to enhance my writing, I'm much more sensitive to the attitude expressed here:

I am looking to collaborate with an established writer who is in the
[INSERT YOUR HOMETOWN HERE] Area. I would like to join forces to write a 300 or so paged book. The genre would be [INSERT YOUR FAVORITE GENRE HERE] of sorts. I have plenty of plot ideas, characters, settings, style. I am not looking for a ghost writer, but a author/co-author to aid me in creating books that reach the hights of such authors as [INSERT THE ONLY POPULAR WRITER YOU KNOW HERE] and so forth. I have only my creativity, tenacity, and vision for the [INSERT YOUR OTHER FAVORITE GENRE HERE] genre market. If interested or know someone who might be, drop me a line.

What cheek! Here the rest of us are, writing, busting our butts to add a professional face to the work we love and some guy comes in thinking he has the next greatest idea to hit bookshelves since Steven King and wants SOMEONE ELSE to do all that boring dirty work of actually writing, while he can focus on the IMPORTANT STUFF.

Give me a break. If you want to be a writer, then by all means, work hard at it. But don't approach it like you're joining a club. You wouldn't walk into a hospital and say you've got some great ideas on how people can be healed by this revolutionary new miracle cure you saw on the Discovery Channel and expect them to take you seriously.

UPDATE: I decided to respond on this list. Here's what I wrote:

I'm usually too busy to spend much time keeping up with the discussions here, but I felt compelled to respond to this one.

In the interest of not offending the faint-hearted and weak in spirit, I caution you to kindly exit this email at your earliest convenience. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. I AM NOT trying to be discouraging, negative, pessimistic, etc..., so please don't misunderstand my intent. Call it tough love, if you must.

I bust my butt day in and day out working on my English degree (Creative Writing) while raising five kids (okay, that's an exaggeration, my wife does most of that) and working full time. It's not necessary that I do this, but I firmly believe that a degree program gives you the discipline and honest feedback you need to become a great writer. It's not a hard and fast rule; there are exceptions for wunderkind of extraordinary natural talent; but in general, I've found this to hold true in the writers I admire most: Flannery O'Connor, Steven King, et al.

Writing is hard work. It should not be approached with a flippant attitude akin to: "I have soooo many great ideas, but I need to find someone to do all the dirty work for me." It takes years of practice in honing the craft. In no way is it enough to have great ideas. Great ideas are only the teeny, tiny tip of the writing iceberg. Extolling the sagacity of your "great ideas" is a well-known no-no. Any good book on writing discusses this.

If you're serious about writing as a career, then the first thing you need to do is get familiar with the spell checker. Then learn proper sentence structure. Then read at least 100 novels that are considered "classics." Then read 100 more. Write every email, letter, and scribble on a napkin, as if it were going to appear in The New Yorker. No serious agent or editor will give the time of day to a writer who lacks attention to detail. I stopped getting calls from a particular newspaper editor after a tiny piece I had done had a few errors in it (but not factual, thank you very much.)

Commercial success is a reasonable goal to have--also something a serious agent or editor would look for in developing a relationship with a writer--but that comes AFTER you've paid your dues. Pay the piper first, then laugh all the way to the bank, railing against the unfair system that suppresses true creativity.

I don't want to make anyone irritated by sounding negative and pessimistic. I'm working so hard to succeed in writing fiction that I get a little testy when a fresh recruit comes hippity-hopping down the bunny trail, smelling the roses of a writing career, and obviously hasn't paid their dues yet.

Just to prove I'm not worthy of a bamboo lashing by the you-must-be-nice police, some advice:

1) Don't give up trying to improve your writing.

2) If God has called you to this, it's silly to run away from it. Don't. Not even when it gets hard (and it will...ooooohhhh yes it will :-)

3) Don't let anyone try and talk you out of it.

4) Learn all you can from the great writers on this list and through the classics collection of your local library.

5) Read so much more than you write that you can't even guess what the exponent would be to compare the two.

6) For a full year, read only works written before 1930.

7) Spell check everything.

8) Take your time. This email took an hour and a half to write, rewrite, revise, correct numerous spelling and grammatical errors (and I might have still missed some), etc... The more the better. And yes that was a fragment. And so is this.

Sincerely,

Crotchety Old Fart

Busy Busy Busy

2004-10-09T13:05:00.000-05:00

I've been so busy this week, I didn't have much time to get a blog out.

School got out early this week for fall break. It was nice to have a couple of days off.

I have several tests this coming week, so I don't know how much time I'll have to get blogging in. I've got a few links for you, though. I'll try to get those up in the next couple of days...

Tips on Getting published

2004-09-28T16:59:00.000-05:00

A harsh, but realistic look at why pink scented paper isn't the best way to submit a manuscript:

I am Your Editor: Submitting Your Novel

Gutenberg Has Been Updated

2004-09-28T16:15:00.000-05:00

If you haven't been to the Gutenberg.net website lately, you should trot on over there. They have a new, online eBook reader that paginates the texts. That's a godsend for reading these eBooks, because it was always a real pain to have several hundred pages of text to scroll through vertically. It's much more pleasant to read, though I still have reservations about reading anything online that's very long.

Check it out!

Sad News

2004-09-28T16:12:00.000-05:00

I didn't blog about this last week because it still bothers me a little bit, but my wife has apparently had a miscarriage. It was to be our sixth child, which annoys some people (I hate annoying people that bitch about big families), and I was rather excited, though my wife was understandably less so.

Ah wel... The Lord giveth...and the Lord taketh away...

Character Analysis of Big Nurse

2004-09-21T12:59:00.000-05:00

I had to turn in a paper on Monday for my fiction class. It was a character analysis of Big Nurse in Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. This paper deals with chapter four. If you have a copy of Cuckoo's Nest, crack it open and read (or re-read) it first.

UPDATE (24 AUG 2005):

Okay--here's the deal: I've been getting an inordinate number of referrers from search engines with the terms "character analysis Nurse Ratched," or similar. My assumption is--incorrect or not--that people are looking for a pre-manufactured paper to plagiarize. Since the few are ruining it (well, that's an arrogant statement. . .but there it is ;-) for the many, I'm taking the text of the paper off-line.

If you're trying to shag a paper because it's due tomorrow (or this morning, whatever the case may be,) you're out of luck here. Write your own damn paper!. You're not going to learn a doggone thing by plagiarizing someone's else's work.

I got a "B" on it anyway, so you'd be better off stealing someone else's.

But maybe you're in college just because your parents and/or scholarships financial aid are paying for it. Maybe you're just using college is as a stepping stone to that $150,000-a-year job you're just sure to get once you graduate. If you think that that's an accurate prophecy, then you've got a lot to learn, my friend.

By the way, if you're plagiarizing papers, and subverting your instructor's attempt to teach you something useful already, the chances of your succeeding in the "real" world at a "real job" are drastically diminished. Only by developing a hard-working work ethic (unfortunately, sorely lacking in today's society) will you develop the skills, persistence, and honesty required to be successful at any career you choose after college.

But maybe you're okay with mediocrity? It's a free country. Make your bed and sleep in it.

I'm just a crotchety old geezer, right--even though I'm only 32? What do I know? Knock off the lecture, right?

Get used to being lectured my friend. Get used to it.

Bad Grades Suck

2004-09-18T09:39:00.000-05:00

I got a pretty bad grade on a recent French test. It was probably my own fault because I didn't really understand the concepts I was taking the test on.

In my defense, trying to get a Creative Writing degree while working full-time, raising five kids (in some months, six), and going to school is quite stressful. It makes it very difficult to study with any kind of comprehension and clarity.

I'm really starting to envy those friends of mine who have finished their degrees as adults by just concentrating on school. A friend of mine went back to school full time while his wife worked. I wouldn't even ask my wife to do that for me, but I do kind of envy the ability to spend all that time, energy, and brain cells on actually learning, instead of splitting those finite cells between solving significant problems at work, at home, AND at school.

I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I don't think I anticipated dealing with a few bad tests here and there along the way. I kind of thought I'd just skate through with A's and B's like I've always done. Not so!

Cuckoo's Nest and New (old) books

2004-09-14T08:55:00.000-05:00

We're reading Ken Kesey in my fiction class. I've already read Cuckoo's Nest, so it's not new to me, but it is interesting to revisit a book after a while.

I know some people who will never read a book a second time. If they've read it once, that's enough. It would be "boring" to read it again because you know how it ends. I don't think that's the point of re-reading a book. Books give you an emotional feeling that (hopefully) you enjoy and can become as addictive as any drug.

Maybe that's the reason I'm always compusively buying books? Abebooks.com is a wonderful resource. I just picked up a copy of Charles Williams' All Hallows Eve and Flannery O'Connor's Wise Blood. I'm about half-way through All Hallows Eve. One thing that irritates me about Williams is that things always are, and yet they're not. She did this, and yet she didn't. He said something, but he didn't. It's hard to follow. I understand he's trying to be subtle, but it sometimes feels simply indecisive. Maybe I'm just not "refined" enough to truly appreciate it. I imagine that's partly true. He's a little over my head.

School Daze

2004-09-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

French is a difficult subject for me. Maybe it's just that I'm getting older. Maybe I'm getting dumber. The whole concept of learning another language is just stressful to me. What bothers me most is that I can't understand fully, right from the beginning. I don't like to struggle with things. I never have. So I just don't do things that force me to struggle.

That's not entirely true. I've worked at jobs that were challenging and made me struggle. I worked at one job, not too long ago, that was intensely physical. So much so that they had a very high turnover and some friends of mine tried it, but quite, it being too "hard." So I'm not afraid of adversity. I'm just afraid of feeling stupid.

Maybe feeling stupid is a good thing. It humbles you. Keeps you in your place. Makes you want to move forward. Maybe it's just frustrating. I've lost enough sleep over worrying about all this that I'm getting to the point where I can just swallow the bitter pill, chalk it up to personal improvement, and quite my whining and carry on.

I won't quit. I might not do as well as I'd like, but I definately won't quit. I might whine about not quitting, though :-)

The Worth of Education

2004-09-07T15:51:00.000-05:00

I know it's not necessary to have a college education to be a writer. You can just pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get to it. But as I'm sitting here waiting on class to start, I'm really glad I decided to take this route to better my writing.

The thing that really impresses me about being involved in a good creative writing program is the quality of the feedback. If I was just sitting around in my underwear, writing and submitting stories, getting rejections, writing and submitting more stories, I'd not have a good grounding in where I stand as a writer. Trial and error works okay, but I like being able to shoot an email to my Fiction adviser and have her give me her thoughts on it. She catches stuff I never would and spends the time to help me figure out what's "just not right" and what works well. Editors don't have time to do that for you, so you end up thinking you're a better writer than you really are.

Besides the humble pie aspect of it, it's great to step through some great literature and disect it. I'm learning more than I thought I would and I highly encourage anyone serious about becoming a writer, especially if you have your eye on fiction, like I do, to be involved in a good creative writing program somewhere. Your writing will improve and your opinion of yourself will go down. Both directions will work to your advantage in the end.

RNC Observations

2004-09-02T08:43:00.000-05:00

I was blown away by the sheer power of Zell Miller's speech last night, on day 3 of the RNC.

Democratic political firefighters are out in force today, trying to put a mean and nasty face on Zell Miller. I'm not all that old, so I can't say that I've experienced a lot of political speeches, but I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday. I would have to rate that speech as the best political speech I've heard in my life. Far from mean and nasty, it was powerful and passionate--two traits I'm saddened to see the modern Democratic party deathly afraid of. I wouldn't have guessed I would be so moved by a Democrat.

Don't forget that Zell Miller offered to do this kind of thing for President Bush. The RNC didn't go out hunting for a sympathetic Democratic and parade him across the stage as a show pony. Senator Miller wanted this. He's also not a "closet Republican." By his own admission, Zell Miller is a die-hard Democrat till the day he dies.

I'd like to analyze this speech from a writer's perspective. Even if you don't agree with his politics, Zell Miller's speech was a fantastic oratory that encapsulated ideas, conveyed power and passion, and made a solid connection to the audience. I'd like to see if I can uncover a glimmer of that in the speech's words or structure. I'll keep you posted.

Wireless Hi-Speed Internet Rocks!

2004-08-30T23:55:00.000-05:00

I'm getting totally spoiled. Here I am, sitting on my living room floor, blogging away, connected to all you great folks through my nifty, hi-tech, hi-speed Internet connection, with a wireless network in my house.

You'd think that, having to work with technology like this every day, all day, I'd be a little less enchanted by the capabilities of technology. See, I've never had stuff like I have at work, at home. I've never had hi-speed internet at home because we live in the country. Our local electric co-op recently added wireless internet access. It's priced about the same as my dial-up, taking into account that I have to have a separate line for it.

The newness will wear off, trust me. But for now, I'll just open about 4 or 5 web pages at once and marvel at the coolness of big bandwidth :-)

New Internet Connection

2004-08-30T08:42:00.000-05:00

I got my new high-speed connection set up this weekend, so I didn't have any time to post.

The fair was in town the latter part of last week and I've got some good material to post about it...now just to find the time...

French class

2004-08-25T12:33:00.000-05:00

I've got a few minutes here before French class to let you know that school is a lot harder than I would have imagined. It's hard to get back into the swing of things. I've never studied much before (never needed to, really, since I could skate by without it) but now things are a lot more difficult. That's a good thing, don't get me wrong, but it does make for a more interesting experience.

Okay, so I'm an idiot

2004-08-24T08:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I said it had been a week since I blogged. I really thought it had, because when I pulled up my blog in a browser, the most recent entry was last Monday.

After I reloaded my browser today, I realized I was looking at a cached version of the page! I actually have been performing my bloggerly duties. That was a relief.

This whole school thing has really thrown me off. I think the stress over it has made the synapses in my brain start firing randomly and causing me to exhibit erratic behavior, similar to a psychotic maniac. I'm not. I'm not psychotic. No way. It's impossible. Shame on you for even suggesting that!!

:-)

Time flies when you're having...ummm...fun

2004-08-23T15:44:00.000-05:00

It's been a whole week since I blogged. I didn't even realize it until today.

I started class today. I was late. I absolutely hate that. I couldn't find a parking spot that was less than a half-mile away, and that's no exaggeration. I had to beg the forgiveness of my instructors, which I also hate doing.

It won't happen again, but it's embarassing to walk into class when they're already well into discussion. You feel like the jerk who can't get it together enough to get there on time.

Of course, I'm the oldest in my classes by ten years and, as far as I know, not a one of them has a job during the day. Not that it's any excuse, mind you. I accept responsibility for not having planned appropriately.

I'm ready for tomorrow, though!

Crazy Week

2004-08-20T08:06:00.000-05:00

This week has been very crazy for me. I've been making preparations for school to start on Monday and trying to finish up a number of projects before I run out of time to work on them.

I've got a couple of good links to give you, but I'll have to wait until Saturday or Sunday to post them.

Have a good weekend!

I Feel Like A Nerd

2004-08-18T16:55:00.000-05:00

I've been reading my Craft of Fiction textbook ahead of time. I know, only really annoying little brown-nosers read their textbooks before school actually begins, but I can't help myself!

I'm spending hard-earned money (albeit the government's) to pay for school. I want to learn something useful. I want to apply myself. I want to make good use of my time. If the other slackers in the class (of which I used to be one, once) want to gripe and complain about me actually being interested in what I'm learning, then let 'em. I'll be laughing all the way to the bank with that first advance check!

Since I am using financial aid, I feel like I should work a little harder than if this was all coming out of my pocket. I owe it to myself--and every other tax payer--to take school seriously and not waste that money which could easily have gone into someone else's pocket, instead of to the tax man.

In this day and age, I will concede that this attitude is far out of favor with the mainstream--much to our misfortune.

Back to School

2004-08-16T11:18:00.000-05:00

It's been a very busy weekend, what with the kids going back to school today. I don't get started for another week. My kids think I'm weird for wanting to go back to school, but I'm rather excited about the prospect. I really feel like I'm headed somewhere now. Like I have a goal that is acheivable, realistic, and enjoyable. I've never wanted to climb the corporate ladder, so working in an office puts me in that large group of writers who work at something they don't enjoy just "to pay the bills," while pursuing their writing on the side. Within a couple of years, I hope my writing is no longer on the side, but in the forefront.

Flannery O'Connor

2004-08-11T10:48:00.000-05:00

I've always been intrigued by the writing of Flannery O'Connor. If you insist on attaching labels, she could be called the first (and only real) Christian Gothic writer. Not only is her work respected in literary circles, her insistence on portraying elements of faith, grace, and God through her violent and fascinating fiction is inspiring to the budding writer that thinks there's room in mainstream fiction for someone interested in issues of spirituality.

She's difficult to understand if you've never read her work before. Here's an interesting essay that should help: The Dark Side of the Cross: Flannery O'Connor's Short Fiction

Literary "Censorship"

2004-08-09T11:17:00.000-05:00

There's an interesting e-book over on holtuncensored.com. Although I disagree with the notion that society (not government) actually exercise real censorcism through their own personal choices of what they will tolerate or not by voting with their checkbooks, the study of authors and their controversial works contain great insight into the turbulent and sometimes pernicious relationship an author has with their readers.

Here's the link: Literary Lynching.

What bothers me most about throwing around the word "censorship" is that great deference is given to the writer, while the reader is painted in broad strokes with the brush of ignorant bigotry. I'm a reader, as well as a writer, so I reject that notion entirely. So what if people choose what they like and don't like, even if those decisions are poorly made? As an artist, my job is to paint the pictures in my head using the palette of techniques I have the ability and desire to master. I can be as wrong in my judgement of the human condition as a reader, having misread me, can be about what that portrayal means. In the end, I have every right to be "censored" if I misrepresent the truth.

I'm not suggesting that writers aren't sometimes treated unfairly by a populace of readers that don't "get it." But if the writer is truly an artist, then that shouldn't matter. If they've presented a truth, whether or not people want to see it, such a thing can stand on its own two feet. If it is a truth, then I can't add to it or subtract from it. It is simply what it is: a truth.

Anniversary Vacation

2004-08-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

Since we didn't get an anniversary vacation last year because of my crazy work schedule, we've decided to revisit Eureka Springs, AR. We're staying at the historic Crescent Hotel.

Don't expect any blogging over the weekend, as I'll be out shopping (I'm just so excited) and wandering the winding streets of Eureka with my wife of 11 years (without kids, no less.)

I'm actually taking my camera out of the bag for the first time in several months. I'll post some photos when we get back.

Vote Early, Vote Often

2004-08-03T15:29:00.000-05:00

As a writer, I'm usually a little more circumspect about things than I probably need to be. As I was exercising my right to vote this morning, I thought about exactly what it costs me to be able to directly influence the direction our government chooses to go. Even though my vote is only one among many, I have an obligation to weigh in on those issues that are important to me because too many people have given everything, including their lives, to allow me the privilege to be part of this democracy.

Does one vote count? That's the common excuse for not taking the time to vote and it's an absurdly selfish notion. You're not supposed to have so much pull in the process that you can single handedly influence the direction of this country. You're only supposed to do your part.

Missouri is the first in the nation to allow voters to choose whether or not to amend the state constitution to define marriage as existing only between a man and a woman. I voted an emphatic "YES" to protect the definition of marriage that has existed for all human history. It's unfortunate it has to be spelled out so plainly.

I also voted against allowing more riverboat gambling as our state has experimented with this too much already. States, in general, are spending about $3 in social expenses for every $1 in tax revenue generated by gambling. Our state is already strapped for cash and our Democratic governor is robbing Peter to pay Paul by raiding the money that's supposed to go to our schools.

There is no excuse for anyone to not exercise their right to vote. It may take some forethought on your part, in the way of an absentee ballot, but if you don't take the time to respect the deaths of millions of Americans, then you have no foundation from which to complain!

My Shoulder Is Still Sore

2004-08-02T08:58:00.000-05:00

I talked about my grandfather's Springfield rifle the other day. I finally screwed up my courage enough to shoot it on saturday.

I'm not sure how those doughboys and WWII enlistees did it. That Model 1903 30-06 kicks like a Missouri mule. It was a lot of fun to shoot, even though I was shooting something like a four inch pattern (I won't say how far away, it's a little embarassing), sitting down, without a steady support. If I was really wanting to shoot it accurately, I think I could do very well with that gun. I was worried that, by shooting prone, all the kick of that gun would go right into my shoulder. Plenty of people had broken shoulders in basic training from these guns and I wasn't too anxious to push the limits.

The thought of getting into a shooting competition dressed as a WWI sniper intrigues me. Not many people shoot those old guns any more. Not only would it be educational, but those little leggings they wore are pretty cool, don't you think?

Concentration? What Concentration?

2004-07-29T11:53:00.000-05:00

What with all the hullabaloo over upcoming deadlines for projects at work, trying to at least stay informed about the dramatic and flagrant political hood-winking going on in Boston, and projects on the side, I simply cannot concentrate today.

This is somewhat of a systemic problem lately. I sat down to write the other day and I simply could not focus. It's probably just marketing, but those recent commercials on TV lately about Adult ADD (I don't remember what they said about it, actually, because I've been too distracted to pay attention), I wonder if I don't suffer from that malady. I've suffered off and on with depression and an inability to concentrate for many years. Is that a cop-out? I was accused of that in school, but I'm wondering if there wasn't something more going on.

It's said that creatives are more susceptible to these kinds of things. It's probably all in my head. That's a strange thought: whether a medical malady is really my problem or not, it'll be in my head either way.

Oh well. Back to more being bored and trying to pay attention to what I'm doing long enough to be productive. I'm not holding out much hope, though.

Bubba Ho-Tep

2004-07-28T11:46:00.000-05:00

We watched a pretty cool movie the other night. It's that new Bruce Campbell movie Bubba Ho-Tep. It doesn't really fit into a genre, but it's got a couple of old codgers in a nursing home (Campbell and co-star Ossie Davis) fighting a 4,000 year-old soul-sucking Egyptian mummy.

It's quite a trip, but highly recommended.

Feedback

2004-07-26T14:30:00.000-05:00

To me, feedback for my writing is vital. I talked someone into giving some feedback on a story I'd written the other day and it was refreshing to get some real advice.

Writing is a lonely lifestyle. You work alone and, for the most part, create in a vacuum. One of the things that excites me about getting back into class is the constant feedback on my writing. I'd like to think I'm already a somewhat accomplished writer, having done it freelance for several years. But my fiction writing is new to me. I'm struggling to perfect my craft to the level I feel I'm capable. I don't think I can do that without meaningful reactions from readers.

Sometimes, writers just start writing and submitting for publication. Kind of a "throw it against the wall and see if it sticks." This does work. I've used this technique before myself. But I'm at a point now that I'd rather get some useful input from people to not just attempt to force them to swallow whatever I'm interested in writing, but to enjoy it. You certainly don't want to squelch your creative juices, but it's not all about you as an author, but about the auidience.

Sometimes You Just Need a Break

2004-07-23T16:10:00.000-05:00

I've been banging my head against a wall with the problem at work for about 2 1/2 hours now. It's driving me crazy because I got the darn thing to work once. Now I can't make it work to save my life.

I really don't like the feeling of being out of my league. I like to think I can figure out just about anything with enough time and energy. Being entirely self-taught in the area of computer programming, I often get into areas I'm not familiar with. I don't have anyone more experienced than me in this particular area, so I can't go anywhere and ask. I've posted some questions on the mailing list, but you usually have to send quite a few emails to get everyone to comprehend what you're asking. It can be frustrating.

At least it's friday and the day is nearly over. I went fishing last night and even though I didn't catch anything, my second oldest caught three, which really thrilled him. He hasn't had much luck in the last few weeks, even though we go down to the pond several times a week (some weeks every night, depending on how frustrated I am with work) and "throw at the fish a while" as a friend of mine says.

School starts in a couple of weeks and I'm quite ready. My wife is ready for the kids to go back to school and I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. I've been bugging my future professors with critiques of my writing and it's getting me excited to have that kind of meaningful and helpful feedback. Some writers shrink from criticism of their work. I can understand that because it's not comfortable to have someone tell you your writing isn't quite up to par, but if you're thinking about becoming a professional writer, I think you just have to get over that. Your words aren't sacred. After all, it's not all about the writer, but the audience. Self-indulgent artists never make it very far and I can't imagine that their work is very fulfilling.

The GI Bill

2004-07-22T08:19:00.000-05:00

I finally got some of my financial aid information for this fall. Between my GI Bill and a Pell Grant, my tuition is completely covered. The GI Bill program is such a great thing, it's hard to quantify the benefit to our society. Both of my grandfathers got degrees through the GI Bill. One bachelors and one masters degree. I don't think I'd be the same person today without the influence of my grandfather. I've talked about this before. He established himself in the community through his work at the Ag Service Center. My mother's father, who died before I was born, has left an important legacy in this rural town as well. A long-time principal and superintendent at our school, it was strange for me to go to high school every day and walk past a portrait of my grandfather hanging on the wall. I was picking my kids up from school one day and I showed them granddad's name on a plaque that was installed when that part of the school was built.

I can't say that because I'm working on this degree, thanks to my service in the military, that I'll leave that kind of legacy. But the important thing to me is that the GI Bill allows anyone the possibility to do that. Don't misread me: I don't believe that a college degree can transform someone into something their not; the exercise in persistence it takes to finish a degree with a family and a job is what does the transforming.

I've never felt like I belong here, in this corporate office. I think I've always wanted to be a writer. Now that I'm pursuing it in an "official" capacity, I'm really starting to look forward to something. I have a goal to achieve for the first time in a long time. The degree is not the end for me, it's the road to it that's important.

M. Night Shyamalan

2004-07-18T22:44:00.000-05:00

We just finished watching that "documentary" about M. Night Shyamalan on SciFi. It's actually a pretty good film, even if it is fake :-) I had my suspicions with the shots of him and the crows in their teasers. At every commercial break their was a trailer for The Village, though, so I kind of had it figured that Mr. Shyamalan had something to do with this mockumentary.

I enjoyed the show as a good work of fiction, but I was disappointed that there wasn't any actual substance to it. Isn't he an interesting enough character to just do a simple documentary on? Apparently not. Even though I didn't learn anything, it was a good three hours spent. I sometimes get tired of SciFi with their excessive commercial breaks, but I guess that's the price you pay to have a limited audience.

Even though it's not real, I still recommend The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan.

Thoughts About a Gun

2004-07-18T14:32:00.000-05:00

Grandpa had a Model 1903 M-1 Springfield 30-06 (that's thirty ott six, for those not into guns) that I inherited. I haven't ever shot it, even though I get it out of the closet occasionally and think about doing so. To tell you the truth I'm a little afraid of that gun.

I haven't gone deer hunting for a good many years; not for any reason in particular, I just haven't made the time. We have quite a few deer on the property and the overall population in Missouri is dangerously high. I decided I'll go hunting this year, but I haven't decided whether to use the Winchester .270, which is an excellent gun--and one I have shot, or this 30-06.

The M-1 Springfield is a very important gun. Although some would argue that WWI was a pointless war, I disagree. Such a discussion is well beyond the scope of this essay, but suffice it to say that we wouldn't have had WWII without WWI--and I'm not being sarcastic, either. America and Britain showed the world such strength in their alliance that it has prevailed upon our common enemies till this day. If the victors of WWI hadn't treated Germany so harshly (just like Northern carpetbaggers ravaged a destroyed American South), however, Hitler and his fascists would have held no sway with common Germans.

One thing WWI gave us, besides a festering wound we would have to amputate later, was the Springfield M-1 rifle. It's exceptionally heavy. Just carrying the thing around makes me wonder how tiring it must have been to have had to become one with it in a hot, revolting trench somewhere in France, wading through a knee-deep slurry of clay, mud, and dead bodies. The rifle's weight and full-length walnut stock make it a superbly accurate weapon. This particular gun has Vernier sights, which increase the accurate range of the weapon to 1,000 yards. That's 3/4 of a mile. My grandfather won a marksmanship award with this gun in the 1,000 yard range. I have trouble hitting things accurately at 100 yards. I'm anxious to see if I'm any better with open sights with such a stable gun. For those not familiar with shooting guns, a heavier weapon often means a more accurate weapon because the weight prevents a lot of minute "wandering" caused by the shooters breathing or weak control of your entire body.

My kids saw me looking at this gun just a few minutes ago. My oldest remarked: "that looks like a very lethal weapon." He's absolutely correct. I never got the straight story from my grandpa, but I believe this gun has taken the life of Japanese soldiers.

My kids are used to guns and they know what they're for. I've always found it interesting that people who don't know much about guns mistakenly assume that the mere presence of guns in the house is an encouragement to kill. My kids don't feel that way at all. They have a proper respect for guns and having this Springfield around has given us opportunities to talk about why such devices are necessary. They get to feel the weight of the rifle and think about how hard it was to be soldier carrying one. They get to touch the dark, worn stock and think about all the sweat of other soldiers that has polished the wood. When they get older, they'll think, like I do, about the mud and blood that, although not obvious, must be part of the stock's patina.

My grandfather never told me much about his service in the Philippines. He was a military policeman, and I don't think he was proud of the fact that he had had to kill people. But he did it. He did it for his country. They asked him because we had been attacked for being a country of courage, morality, and principles, even if some of our individual countrymen weren't. Collectively, we believed in something that had to be defended. I am saddened that so many want to create an environment for our country like they did in the '60s and '70s. I guess they just didn't get enough of that hedonistic and nihilistic lifestyle.

Not a Good Day for Writing

2004-07-17T14:11:00.000-05:00

I'm not in a very good mood today. Every time I tried to sit down and do some writing this week, I was interrupted. Something always had to be done. Someone was hitting someone else. Someone was crying because they'd just been wrestled to the ground and given a flogging by their sibling for some perceived greivance.

Now I'm out in the pasture, trying to unplug a lateral line. It's all silted up with years and years of crap (literally) that's now been composted into dirt. It's hot, hard, and tiring. And to top it off, I have no desire to write about any of it.

Maybe after I've got some real rest. Not the kind you get when you swig a healthy dose of Nyquil for a week, just to sleep. But a genuine good night's rest.

Man. I sound like a woman (no offense to the fairer species)...

Elizabethan Demonology

2004-07-13T08:30:00.000-05:00

Found an interesting eBook on Gutenberg today. It's called Elizabethan Demonology and looks at the role supernatural elements play in Elizabethan literature.

Although it was published in 1880, it's still an interesting read. I haven't made it all the way through yet (I am at work, after all) but I've found some interesting tidbits.

Sphere of Influence

2004-07-10T17:21:00.000-05:00

One of the things I've always found interesting about living in a small town is how local events make you realize the spider-web of relationships a person builds over a lifetime.

Instead of having thousands of choices in gas stations, restaurants, businesses to get things from, and businesses to be employed by, you have only a handful. If you need that businesses service, or are employed at one place for several years, then you pass beyond the white noise stage most city dwellers enjoy and enter the collective psyche of the rural mind.

My family name is moderately well known here. My relatives have lived in this general area since the War Between the States. It's certainly not known because we have money. We don't. Trust me. But my grandfather and father have been making friendships, relationships, and contacts in this community for over 40 years. When people hear my last name, they ask: "You're Anthony's son, right?" They usually don't know me personally. That suits me just fine, as I'm not sure I want to be as well known as my dad is. From what I've seen lately, though, I think it's going to happen anyway.

We went into town last night because my oldest daughter had a dance recital at the Relay For Life rally at the city park. It's one of those singularly small-town activities that bring everyone you know to the same place, at the same time. That's when you realize that buying milk at the same grocery store, shopping at the same Wal-Mart, and any number of other chance encounters of small-town life makes a lot of faces well-known to you--even if you've never spoken to them. You end up recognizing people, their children, and sometimes grandchildren on sight, without knowing anything about them.

Some people you end up knowing quite well. I worked at the state highway department for a couple years before I went into the Air Force. I made friends with a guy several years short of retirement. He and I stopped to talk last night. I hadn't seen him in a year or so--I think at last year's Fair (that's where you see almost everyone you've ever known--including their relatives that come back on vacation to visit.) We talked about his garden and his stay-busy retirement projects. It turns out he had done some work on the custom-made equipment in the factory where I worked last year. My Mom and Dad walked up not long after. Dad hijacked the conversation and started talking to Keith about some place they had both worked 30-odd years ago. They racked their brains trying to think of the names of people they hadn't seen in decades. That's when I realized how much of an impact one person can have in a small town.

A network of contacts, relationships, friendships, and enemies one can make in a lifetime of living in rural America is genuinely staggering. My father has many thousands of contacts. Naturally, I inherit that portion of his network that I happen to run across. But I'm always curious to note how, as I get older and my family gets more involved in all manner of things, my own sphere of influence grows.

As I pulled the minivan into the park last night, this kid I worked with in the factory stuck his head out of the car window and hollered a hello to me. It took a little while before I remembered his name, but I finally pulled it off. I knew what family he belonged to and who his uncle was, but I couldn't remember his name. I suspect that happens a lot with me.

Most of my extended family lives in this general area. My Mom's cousins live over near another rural farm town about 25 miles away. One of her cousins is a bail bondsman. He's a fairly big guy. He and his wife--who I also worked with at the highway department--just walked by. His gray hair is pulled back into a ponytail like always. He has a bushy mustache that reminds you of a walrus, and he's pulling a little red wagon with--after much chatting amongst ourselves and asking my mother--his step-granddaughter in it.

Although I don't (deep-down, anyway) care what people think about me, I do have to keep in mind that such a far-reaching influence can have a tremendously positive or negative effect on future generations of my family. I'm reaping the rewards of a well-respected and somewhat beloved family name. I'd like to keep from spoiling that so my sons will be known as "Jon's son" when they go to the lumberyard or call the plumber; the alternative being: "Oh...you're Jon's son, huh?"

Ellery Queen

2004-07-07T15:25:00.000-05:00

You should check out the latest issue of Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. It's got some great short stories in it and you'll be supporting a potential market for writers like me for our future stories. Besides, it's only $4...

What a Novel Idea

2004-07-07T13:30:00.000-05:00

I was following a thread of discussion on a writer-related website the other day. One of the members suggested a short story contest where a group of people could get together and write a short story in a limited timeframe. The idea being an exercise in actually writing, instead of just talking or thinking about it.

What struck me was the lack of writers familiar with the short story. I don't mean a particular writer's story--I mean the actual device of the short story. Most of the posts said something to the effect that the writer hadn't written that many short stories and hadn't even read that many. Most thought it would be a good exercise to "do something new."

I'm not knocking the novel. I aspire to write my own novel one day. But the short story is such a powerful tool for the writer, it would be foolish of us not to recognize it. Some of the best stories (not literature) I've read were relayed through the device of the short story.

Maybe the lack of interest is the perception that no one reads short stories. For a lot people, that may be true. But there are a growing number of us who are finding the short story a popular alternative to investing time we may not have into reading a novel. Short stories can convey your story to readers that are too busy to otherwise read you. Short stories give you a lot of options for publishing, since the needs of publishers for short fiction is much greater than that for novels. Of course short stories don't pay as well, but if you're planning on getting J.K. Rowling rich by being a writer, then prepare yourself for disappointment--not that I think you can't achieve it, mind you, just be prepared anyway.

Short stories are difficult to write. They require immense focus and clarity on the part of the author. If you get one little thing wrong in a piece of short fiction, you could ruin the whole thing. But you can also write one in a day; and if you get it published and only get $350 out of it, isn't that considered a Good Day's Work?

What a novel idea!

A Life of Its Own

2004-07-05T16:45:00.000-05:00

Today I did something I don't often do: I started and finished a short story. I start a lot of projects at once, just like I read a lot of books at once (six at last count).

I love the feeling of having finished a piece, though. There's really nothing quite like it. You work hard to create and it's always a nice feeling to not have it hanging over your head afterwards. There's always editing and rewriting, of course, but if the work is considered complete before entering this stage, this seems to flow easier.

One of the things that fascinates me about the writing process is how a story can take on a life of its own. I ended up finishing the story in a different place than I had planned on. I don't understand how this happens. It's enjoyable for a writer, I think, because a lot of writing involves pursuing a pre-planned route. Some of the most powerful literature I've read was well planned by the author. Another style of literature is more event-driven. The author changes where the story goes based on his discovery of the characters as he fleshes them out.

I don't mind when a story starts to take on a life of its own. I'd like a little warning before it happens, though :-)

I Got a New Laptop

2004-07-02T21:48:00.000-05:00

Due to my duties of maintaining the website for the folks I work for during my day job, I talked them into getting me a new laptop. It's a beaut. 1.5GHz and only 256MB of RAM. Enough to do what I need at home and support my writing.

I've never written on laptops much since I've never been able to afford a nice one. I really like this one, though. I'm going to do some writing on it and let you know how things go. I know a lot of writers use laptops exclusively, so there's got to be some benefits to it.

I really like my Underwood typewriter, though...

Spider-Man 2

2004-07-02T00:49:00.000-05:00

We dropped the little kids off at a friends house and took the other three to see Spidey 2. Not a bad flick. What you'd expect to see in a big-budget action movie. I'd tell you what I was surprised about, but that would be a spoiler. You'll just have to see it yourself.

I hate reviews. I know I don't give a flying rip what someone else thinks about a particular movie. I like a lot of flicks the critics hate. Does that mean I don't have taste? Shaaa, right. Tell that to my face! ;-)

It was nice to sit still and not have to chase a four-year-old and (almost) two-year-old around the theater and try (usually unsuccessfully) to keep 'em quiet.

Offline till the meds wear off

2004-06-30T14:41:00.000-05:00

I have problems with chronic migraines. They're probably stress-induced, which I'm trying to work on.

Expect me to be posting more infrequently for a week or so, since I'm taking some very strong medication to combat them. It makes me loopy and unable to think coherently...but hey, I don't have the headaches ;-)

I'll be back in action next week, once the side effects wear off...

Version 1 or Version 2?

2004-06-28T13:25:00.000-05:00

I usually write several versions of a scene. I keep toying with it, changing the emphasis of things, taking things out, putting things in, till I'm either happy or not revolted by what I've done. One of the advantages of using a typewriter is that I don't actually delete anything. I just rewrite it. I have the old one to reference, and I'll often use that as the basis for the next rewrite. In these two versions of a scene, you'll notice a few minor things I thought were important and what I took out or made better.

Keep in mind these are unfinished rough drafts. It's not my best writing and I haven't made attempts to refine it. It's just the real deal. If you think this closely resemebles a scene from the beginnings of An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser, then you get an 'A' ;-) That's a major reason this scene didn't make the cut. That and the fact that it's a little heavy-handed in portraying Jimmy as uninterested in spirituality, which he isn't.

Version 1:

Jimmy walked into the brick mission in downtown Kansas City.  The place was decripit.  Jimmy didn't really know Kansas City very well, but he had happened upon this old warehouse, in an ignored part of town that, at one time, looked like it had been a moderately successful commercial district.  There were a few walls that had neglected, peeling advertisements and business names on them.  So-and-So and Sons.  Doe Mercantile.  E.F. Nobody Textiles.  Nearly all were deserted and Jimmy wondered what happened.  Did they fold because of bad management?  Did they move to a more profitable location?  Did they get bought out by a competitor?  Jimmy thought of those ghost towns in the old west he had read about in the few dime novels of adventerous gunmen and lawmen he had had the fortune to either buy or steal.

The inside of the mission didn't look much better than the outside.  Bare walls, open, dark, wooden spaces, stained and worn wood floors surrounded him.  It actually looked rather depressing.  There were a few handbills plastered to the walls that preached repentence and the depravities of drink through recitation of popular Old Testament quotations.  A dirty, drunken, mongrel of a man lay passed out on a cot.  Jimmy could smell the whiskey mingling with the stench of body odor and the grime of riding the rails and being alone.

A few other people were wandering around the spacious first-floor meeting area.  Someone in a suit, who Jimmy guessed to be the pastor of this mission, was talking softly with a group of men near the back of a curiously arranged gaggle of folding chairs that had apparently been set out to make comfortable the parishoners of this motley congregation while the pastor preached his firey sermons of the dangers of sin and the all-encompassing love of Jesus Christ.

Jimmy had been obliged to hear too many of these sermons since he ran away from his adopted parents over a year ago.  He was only 14 then, but he knew that not only did these kind of charlatans not practice what they preached, but that the Jesus they yammered about wasn't nearly as caring as what they made him out to be.  If this Jesus of their was as caring and loving and powerful as they said, then why was he forced to roam the country hungry, afraid, alone, and without all those neccessities he'd been told that God would provide?  Jimmy's own life experiences contradicted everything he'd heard these purveyors of Christian myth try to sell him.  Jimmy wasn't buying it.

The black-haired pastor eventually noticed Jimmy standing there looking around and politely took his leave of the small captive audience he had and walked purposely toward Jimmy.  His smile was all teeth.  White, perfect, dangerous teeth.  He jutted out his soft hand for Jimmy to shake in a way that said "Come into the tent and be amazed at the wonders you will see."  Jimmy shook his hand disinterestedly.

"God bless you brother.  I'm pastor Kevin.  I run this humble mission.  Please, come sit down.  My lovely wife has made some fresh lemonade and I think there's sandwiches left, if you'd like to partake with us."  The pastor's smile never let up and he washed himself over Jimmy with a sincerity that, if seen at a distance, could be doubted, but was so forecful as to compel Jimmy to accept his offer.  Besides, he was hungry and the the sight of food only made his cramping stomach ache for the simple pleasures of a small meal.

Version 2:

(I ran out of time...will post this this afternoon...)

Deleted Scene

2004-06-25T13:19:00.000-05:00

Here's a deleted scene from one of my short stories:

That high-strung newsman didn't even spell my last name right.  I told him twice how to spell it and he still got it wrong.  It was nice to see my name in the paper, even if it was on page six.  I never had that before.  But if you're really interested in knowing what happened, then you're going to have to hear it from me.  I'm the only one that knows how it all went.

I was only 12 then.  That was two and a half years ago.  Nineteen hundreed and twenty three.  My mother died when I was two.  I don't remember her.  My father ran off after I was born.  I don't remember him neither.  I don't even know what his name was.  My mother didn't keep pictures of him, so I can't tell you what he looked like.  My foster parents gave me their last name of McCullen.  I don't know what my real last name is, on account of they never would tell me.

Mr. and Mrs. McCullen were nice enough, I guess, just not my style.  I decided to run away that summer, after I read a book by this fella Mark Twain.  Huckleberry Finn it was called.  I really liked that book.  Mrs. McCullen thought I would, it bein about an orphan and all.  I reckon 'ol Huck and I had loads in common.  If he could manage it on his own, floatin down the Mighty Mississippi on a beat-up ol raft, then I could surely handle ridin the rails with the other hoboes.  So that's what I did.  I ran away.

I hear tell I dropped off the paperwork of the state social workers.  They lost me.  I was mighty glad of that.  I was really free.  I could go anywhere, do anything, or do nothing.  I dodged the railroad dicks on the Santa Fe and Burlington Northern through Arkansas, Missouri, Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, Arizona, and Texas.  It was a high time.  Sure, I was hungry and cold and tired most of the time, same as the other folks.  But I was free.

Some of the older fellas couldn't truck with all that being alone.  I woke up one morning before anyone else, like always, and found ol Dick DuBois drowned in a pond of muck and puke that smelled powerful like whiskey.  Drunk hisself to death instead of hanging hisself or throwin down in front of a train or something respectable like that.  Old Dick was a nice fella, but too soft.  He missed his family too much, I 'spect.  I never did understand why he didn't just go back to them.  He said he felt guilty or something.  I tried to tell him his son probably would like it if'n he was just home, low-down kerr dog or no, but he just smiled at me and said he wished he could be.  That was the day before he killed hisself and the day after I met Andy.

New Secret Project

2004-06-25T10:17:00.000-05:00

I've started a new secret project, which is why I haven't posted in a couple of days. Once I get the site design all done and posted, I'll provide a link.

It's gonna be cool. It's gonna be hip. Okay, maybe not hip since I have no idea what that means. It will be fun, though...

Kill or be Killed

2004-06-22T17:11:00.000-05:00

I don't blog about current events. There's plenty great blogs out there that keep up with that kind of stuff. I've linked to a few them in my blog roll, over there on the right.

But today's beheading of that pitiful Korean, who we saw begging for his life, makes me genuinely angry--and not just at the cowardice of those handful of people who seek to alter the political destiny of millions through intimidation. I get angry every time I read an uninformed American exercise their first amendment right to rail on our President for what we're trying to do in Iraq.

I served four tours to Saudi Arabia in military intelligence, fighting Sadaam after he invaded Kuwait the second time. My best friend was injured in the terrorist attack on Khobar Towers. I only missed that attack by two weeks. Two damn weeks.

Unlike those whiny babies that think their freedom to criticize is actually free, terrorism's face should be spat in at every opportunity. Kudos to my compatriots still serving around the world in this noble battle.

As a Christian, I don't often wish this on anyone, but I hope God makes a special place in hell for those disgusting cowards we call terrorists.

2004-06-22T10:00:00.000-05:00

A darling daughter, a digital camera, a soybean field, and a beautiful summer evening.

Recycled Material: 6 March 2004

2004-06-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

True to my word, here's an old blog entry that never made it online. In the interest of full disclosure, I edited this. What you read here is a tinkered version of the real thing.

It's been a little while since me and the old typewriter have sat down to chat. I've been so busy this week trying to keep up with everything that I've been getting a little sidetracked. Yes, that's an utterly lame excuse. Nearly cliche. So shoot me.

I really took it on the chin the other day when I got those rejection letters. I expected them, but that doesn't make it any easier when they actually come.

I think it would be a good idea if I did some more flowcharting on my stories. Keeping an Excel spreadsheet or something to keep track of all your characters and plot elements makes a lot of sense. When it's all planned out, you can stay organized with all the scenes and where they fit emotionally. That must be how you do it with a screenplay. By the time you actually film the performances, you must have gone over everything so much that it's not really funny--or sad or whatever emotion you're trying to evoke--anymore. It lost its shine.

I've tried rewriting some of the runaway story. It's going O.K., but I've taken some things in a little bit different direction. I'm not sure if that's entirely good. I feel like I copped Theodore Dreiser with my intro of Jimmy. It's something I had been thinking about already. When I read a similar scene in American Tragedy, things started to fit better.

I still think this whole story would work better as a screenplay. You can get away with more in a screenplay. It would appeal to the impatient in me, too since it would take a lot less time to produce. I don't know whether it would sell or not, but for $100,000 or more, it would definitely be worth a try.

Speaking of more money, I feel like I'm getting greedy with the thought of this job at [Not Important]. I haven't even talked to them yet and I'm already thinking of ways to spend the money. And I say I don't work for the paycheck. That's not always true, now is it? It depends on how many bills I'm behind in.

Virtual Posts

2004-06-20T17:40:00.000-05:00

I've been doing some virtual posting lately. As I've recently discussed, the majority of my writing is done on paper. Some of those blogs I don't end up posting, either because I don't have time at the moment to transcribe them, or because I've changed my mind about how I feel. Not wanting to be wasteful, though, I've decided to go through the large stack of one and two-page meanderings I've created when I couldn't think of how to proceed with a story and post some of them.

Being a circumstantial perfectionist, I tend to shy away from posting something that I don't feel good about. It happens, of course, but not if I'm sober enough to help it :-) In the same spirit of mediocrity, I'm going to post a deleted scene (to use a DVD term) from a short story I started over a year ago.

A Writer's Toolbox

2004-06-19T23:32:00.000-05:00

I'm an experimenter. I love to try different ways of writing, different locations, different situations, different implements. Generally, I write my weblog entries into my pocket-sized paper notebook. That's right, my high-tech journal is nothing more than a transcription of my real, pencil and paper journal. For my longer writing projects, I tend to use my portable Underwood typewriter. If my writing desk isn't piled high with clothes that haven't been put away yet and other things people tend to just dump on it, I use my desktop Underwood #5.

I really love my Underwood typewriters. My portable is almost 70 years old and my desktop is over 80. I tend to spend entirely too much time rewriting sentences and paragraphs when I write on a computer. Paper forces me to commit. I leave the editing to the editing process. Right now, I'm using this older laptop I got from work. The batteries are essentially worthless. It has to stay plugged in whenever I'm using it. But writing implements are not what prompted me to blog tonight. My writing style while using each implement tends to be drastically different.

You wouldn't think that using a pencil and paper would change the essence of your sentences. An Underwood, objectively speaking, shouldn't alter the tone of the writer's voice. A word-processor shouldn't make the same writer spew eight bland, unemotional sentences for every two good ones.

I haven't pinpointed the exact alignment of celestial bodies that makes me feel much better about the writing that comes from my stubby pencil (which I have to break off to make fit inside my notebook) and paper. In general, I am more morose in tone and use more complicated phrases; I also tend to be more obtuse on paper than on LCD screen.
When I first noticed this difference in writing style, I tried to eliminate it--or at least make it less obvious. Now I try to harness these nuances of style depending on my purpose. If I intend to bring the reader into my world through vivid imagery, I'll start with pencil and paper, then transcribe that into the computer at a later date. When time is limited, I'll use the typewriter. I can produce twice as much writing on a typewriter than on a computer. This was wonderful for me when I worked in a factory. I'd bring my portable Underwood to write with on breaks.

Since technology doesn't fascinate me anymore, the computer is usually the last stop. When it's time for posting to the weblog, printing out a manuscript to submit for publication, or just to edit or rewrite, then I'll retype everything into the computer. This retying gives me an opportunity to reevaluate every single word I've penned and has become an important part of the writing process for me. My edits have become less time-consuming and I have a more objective opinion of what I write instead of losing those words forever when I hit the delete key.

In the end, the goal is to produce. As long as you are improving as a writer and are able to produce something consistently and at a consistent quality, then your writing implement of choice is just that: your choice.

The Value of The Stereotype

2004-06-17T13:04:00.000-05:00

We might not entirely appreciate the idea of being stereotyped. But as a writer, I'm constantly amazed at how closely the vast majority of people I meet conform to their stereotype of choice.

Last night, my wife and I walked the long aisles of the local mall. I know I'm getting older and crotchetier, but that doesn't entirely explain these weird novelty shops that keep popping in and out of this mall's storefronts. I call them "I Want to be Someone I'm Not" stores. You know the ones I'm talking about: they sell lava lamps, plastic skulls that glow to the light of an ultraviolet lamp, and those electric plasma balls. Not only do the people that wander around inside these stores dress the same, they also talk the same, laugh at the same jokes, and buy the same tacky decorating fodder.

I'm eating lunch at Mr. Goodcents today. I work in a college town, so I see a lot of young couples like the one coming across the parking lot just now. The pair got out of their non-descript sedan of a car and the attractive female kept her little puppy from hopping out while she shut the door gently. The dog is running around on top of the dashboard, looking dangerously like he needs to pee. They're holding hands uncomfortably. There's an intimate distance between them that hints at the common, complicated relationship too many college students have that's predicated on sex. They don't exhibit that comfortable silence of two people who know each other very well, standing in line, and they almost wince at sharing the same floor tile.

Could I be wrong in my assessments? Of course. But as a writer and an aficionado of subtlety, I doubt I'd be far off the mark. That's what excites me about the power of literature, combined with the eye of a writer. The writer expresses common human emotions through the recognizable aspects of the stereotype. It's our job to be a student of human nature and use that to bring together people to wallow in those common feelings.

If people weren't so comfortably stereotypical, we'd have no tool with which to connect to our readers.

Country Perfume

2004-06-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

I was forced to straddle two diagonal parking spots because the SUV next to me was too big to fit into these slanted stalls that were laid down long before they made vehicles that big. A high, lonesome bluegrass vocal was drifting into my consciousness, but only just. I hunched over the steering wheel, holding it down with interlaced fingers the way tired farmers do as they putter around town.

My photographer's eye admired the cottony light which glowed a strange yellow-orange like the lillies in our flowerbed right before the sun hits them; while the scattered and confused light of early morning soaks up the sweaty dew. My wife had gone across the street to wait for my oldest daughter to get out of her ballet lesson. I just sat waiting.

I winced at the confused tangle of electrical conduit and natural gas and water lines growing up the side of the century-old brick building in front of me. Decades of paint tried to cling to the old brick, which was now too worn to hold it very well. Our county courthouse basked in the sleepy early evening. The pre-civil war building watched the sun set tiredly, sporting its new high-speed wireless internet antenna where a cupola that was destroyed by fire during the civil war had been.

Our small, rural town is alive and well. The Wal-Mart Supercenter is almost finished out by the four-lane highway. We have broadband internet to connect us to the rest of the world--for better or worse. We have satellite television to satiate our children when we need to get something done without being distracted by them. We have drunks, heroine additcs, tweakers (meth heads), and drug dealers.

But we also have more churches in one square mile than some small countries. We have neighborhood watches and the VFW veterans to serve as honor guards in our parades. We want to get back home after we've gone somewhere and we sit on our porch in the evening, listening to the birds, and watching our kids fight over toys while they play in the yard. We have the constant toil of working the land, in scopes both large and small, and we have each other. A community of people who live outside the fast lane, but only just.

Some people, whether out of jealousy or true disdain, despise the life of the rural folk. But I live it happily. And I'll continue to do so as long as the Lord sees fit to allow us the opportunity to raise our kids in the place of our choosing.

New Books

2004-06-16T08:59:00.000-05:00

We had some time to hit the bookstore last night. I picked up a couple new (old) books:

The Glass Bead Game

Hermann Hesse

Lost Horizon

I'm a little concerned about reading The Glass Bead Game, given its influence over the growth of eastern mysticism in the western hemisphere. That said, I very much enjoyed Hesse's excellent novel Steppenwolf and am finding this book to be in the same vein. Hesse was notoriously introspective, and all his works show an unflinching analysis of the raw, human psyche.

The Glass Bead Game is supposed to be a satirical look at "civilized" society, but westerners, upon discovering Hesse, missed the sarcasm and took him seriously. Keeping this in mind, I hope to not be bothered by Hesse's backdrop of eastern mysticism and be able to appreciate his insight into the mind of Man.

HP3: The Review

2004-06-15T18:18:00.000-05:00

We all really enjoyed this movie. I can't add much to what other reviews have have said about the scope and grandiose vision of the imagery. It was fabulous.

One beef I had was more with the screenplay than anything else. The dialogue was faithfully rendered and the dramatic scenes of the novel were all there, but if you had not read the book first, I would question whether or not it would be very easy to figure out what in the heck was going on. The subleties involved with Harry's relationship with Sirius, for example, was only barely hinted at.

If you haven't read the book yet, read it first, then see the movie. Of course, you might raise the ire of fundamentalist-leanging christians, but that's a whole nuther blog...

Free Electronic Dictionary

2004-06-14T11:28:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to get this free ebook of the 1811 Unabridged dictionary to work on my computer. You can download the thing from The Gutenberg Project. Problem is, it's got all these funky character things in it. I know it's supposed to help you pronounce the words, but I can't just do a search on a form of a word and go right to it.

My eventual goal, being the computer geek that I am, is to write a little program that would search these text files and give you a searchable, free, electronic dictionary. Of course, the words are old, old, old, but that's part of its nostalgic appeal.

WANTED: Strange Story Needs Good Home

2004-06-11T08:22:00.000-05:00

I'm looking for a short story market. The Diary is inspired by the true story of my grandfather while he served on the island of Saipan in 1945. When my grandmother and I cleaned out her attic a few years ago, she let me borrow a box of his personal effects, which included a large number of photographs and sundry documents and paperwork. Two official-looking documents jumped out at me. One was a debriefing of an American GI about an unnamed battle during the invasion of the island. The second was four typewritten pages titled: Translation of A Japanese Diary. True to form, this document covers a month on the island, from immediately before the invasion, till the author's presumed suicide. It's a compelling look into the experiences and mindset of a Japanese soldier.

What struck me most was how I felt when I read it. I was conflicted. On the one hand, I didn't want to feel outright sympathy because our war against the Japanese was more justified than any we've fought in a long time, owning to their unprovoked attack against us; on the other hand, having been in some very dangerous places while on military deployment myself (like Khobar, Saudi Arabia), I could get a sense of the empathy a soldier sometimes feels for the people he's supposed to kill. It's a dichotomy I wanted to explore in a short story.

The Diary follows the thoughts of a fictitious surrogate for my grandfather while he reads this document for the first time. I tried to include bits of the atmosphere of being deployed and spent some time exploring the complex emotional reactions of someone coming to grips with feeling empathy towards an enemy.

My only problem so far is finding a home for this little guy. It's made the rounds at the larger magazines and literary journals. I'm down to the more obscure ones now. If you have any ideas about what would be a good market for this story, then please let me know. If I can't find a market for it in the next couple of months, I might go ahead and post it here. Let me know what you think...

HP3

2004-06-09T18:04:00.000-05:00

[singing and music] We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of [stop singing] ...Hogwarts.

We finally have time to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkabahn and my whole family is pretty excited. My wife has read all five books and I'm on the fourth. Even though my midwestern-christian family hates the whole Harry Potter thing, I've found them very stimulating.

Maybe I'll post a review later tonight...

Time to Write? What Time?

2004-06-09T14:58:00.000-05:00

My kids drive me nuts sometimes. They haven't learned (...yet, but they will) that when the typewriter case is open and they hear mad pecking, then do not bother me. I have a hard enough time concentrating without having to get cups of milk, grab the 18 month-old before she heads out an open door, etc.

It's not just my kids, though. My wife caught herself asking me to do something without even thinking that I was writing. I think she felt bad about asking, too, since I just quit trying after that. I wasn't getting anywhere. Getting to write only part of a sentence at a time isn't very productive.

This problem is somewhat systemic. I used to work at home as a computer programmer; I freelanced, and did sundry contract jobs. Often, the fact that I was sitting in front of the computer wasn't enough to deter the cries for help. Don't think I mind helping out, because I don't. I understand how hard it is to keep everything going in a family as large as ours--and if I'm just sitting there anyway...

Is it a question of validity? I know people tend to not take artistic endeavors seriously, even though I approach my writing with the same professionalism I show towards any job I do. To me, it's just another part-time job. To everyone else it's... To tell you the truth, I don't know what they think it is.

Is Nothing Sacred?!

2004-06-07T13:20:00.000-05:00

This whole low-carb thing is really starting to piss me off. I can't turn around without seeing some advertisement for something that is "low carb" (it disgusts me to even see those two words together in that context). Worst of all (and a harbinger of Armageddon, I'm certain) is what I saw on our way home from Branson this weekend. Right under the gas prices at a local gas station was an advertisement for low carb snacks.

That's it. I have to draw the line somewhere. Gas stations are for buying Mountain Dew, chewing tobacco, beer (and sometimes gas, but not near as often as for the other three), and extremely unhealthy snacks. Low carb snacks? Sheesh!

Over 90% of people on these stupid diets don't even need to lose weight. Most of the people I know on them are already too skinny to be healthy. Most of the rest only want to lost weight, but don't need to. Their problem is self-esteem, not an unhealthy diet. I've heard people tell me they were losing weight just for themselves. So they'd feel better. Whatever. Unless it's for health reasons, people diet because they want to perceive that by dieting and losing weight, other people will look more favorably upon them than if they didn't diet. It's all horse manure. People will like you or hate you whether you weigh 90 pounds or 390 pounds.

People, taken as a whole, are shallow and self-absorbed. If they hold your weight against you, why in the world would you want them as a friend?

Back to School

2004-06-04T14:41:00.000-05:00

I know, it's a little early to be talking about going back to school. My wife would probably slap me upside the head for even mentioning it. But I'm not talking about my five kids here, I'm talking about me.

Since I got out of the Air Force, I've been wanting to use my G.I. Bill benefits to finish college. I always swore to myself that, once I was back in school, I'd study what I wanted to study, and not use it as leverage for getting a job. Although I work as a computer programmer, that's the last thing I want to study at a University.

Pittsburg State University is where I dropped off my enrollment paperwork today. They've got a much better English Bachelor's program than the school I was taking classes from previously. They have an emphasis in Creative Writing for Fiction that I'll be majoring in.

I didn't know if I'd be excited about going back to school or not. It's going to be a lot of work and hard on the schedule (thankfully, my employer is very willing to help me work around day classes), but I'm starting to get excited about being in an acedemic environment. I know I don't need to finish my degree to become a writer, but I want to learn all I can about being a great writer, not just a mediocre one.

Lord willing, I'll start classes this fall.

Goin' to Branson

2004-06-04T14:29:00.000-05:00

Our family is headed out to one of our favorite weekend places: Branson, MO.

I've always been fascinated by the town, but not for the same reason those 2-3 million city slickers go there. Early 20th century writer Harold Bell Wright stayed there and wrote his immensely popular novel Shepherd of the Hills based on the region. It's definately not the Branson of Wright's day, what with all the music shows, attractions, motels/hotels (and eventually, if organized crime gets their way, casinos) and sundry other attractions. Still, a palpable shadow of the quiet, Ozark mountain people still wanders through the hollers (that's a small valley for you city folk) if you listen hard enough.

The Ozark mountains have a long and interesting, but little known history. If you want a glimpse of what it was like around here in the late 1800's and early 1900's, then pick up a copy of one of Wright's books.

Military History

2004-06-03T20:00:00.000-05:00

Another interesting, historical read from Gutenberg:

THE
FIFTEEN DECISIVE BATTLES OF THE WORLD FROM MARATHON TO WATERLOO by
Sir Edward Creasy, M.A. (Late Chief Justice of Ceylon) Author of 'The
Rise and Progress of the English Constitution'.

I'm thinking about writing an article on middle age warfare and came across this in my research.

Anton Chekhov's Notebooks

2004-06-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

Just to clear some things up: yes I do occasionally work...

I subscribe to the RSS feed of the Gutenberg Project (find out about it on their homepage). Someone has posted Anton Chekhov's Notebooks on the site. Here's some interesting excerpts:

Why did Hamlet trouble about hosts after death, when life itself is haunted by ghosts so much more terrible?

_Daughter_: "Felt boots are not the correct thing."

_Father_: "Yes they are clumsy, I'll have to get leather ones." The father fell ill and his deportation to Siberia was postponed.

_Daughter_: "You are not at all ill, father. Look, you have your coat and boots on...."

_Father_: "I long to be exiled to Siberia. One could sit somewhere by the Yenissey or Obi river and fish, and on the ferry there would be nice little convicts, emigrants.... Here I hate everything: this lilac tree in front of the window, these gravel paths...."

The children growing up talked at meals about religion and laughed at fasts, monks, etc. The old mother at first lost her temper, then, evidently getting used to it, only smiled, but at last she told the children that they had convinced her, that she is now of their opinion. The children felt awkward and could not imagine what their old mother would do without her religion.

Mitya and Katya were told that their papa blasted rocks in the quarry. They wanted to blow up their cross grandpapa, so they took a pound of powder from their father's room, put it in a bottle, inserted a wick, and placed it under their grandfather's chair, when he was dozing after dinner; but soldiers marched by with the band playing--and this was the only thing that prevented them from carrying out their plan.

There is a bad smell in the barn: ten years ago haymakers slept the night in it and ever since it smells.

Of some writers each work taken separately is brilliant, but taken as a whole they are indefinite; of others each particular work represents nothing outstanding; but, for all that, taken as a whole they are distinct and brilliant.

Woe Be Unto Thee, Dear Writer

2004-06-02T19:35:00.000-05:00

One of the bad things about being forced to be a writer (if it's in you, it's not like you have much of a choice) is that you often can't just sit down and work on that special short story whenever you want to. A professional occupation, just to pay the bills, is especially destructive. A writer's creative energies are finite. If you have a job that requires creativity, then woe be unto thee that hast come home stressed, tired, depressed, and just wanting to work on thy story.

I started a story the other day based on a conversation I had with someone I'd become good friends with when I worked at a factory in town. His life is almost stranger than fiction and I really wanted to tell this story (fictionalized with my own twisted spin on things, of course). Sitting down in front of the Underwood, I realized I was dry. All I could come up with is what you're reading now.

It's not that I mind spending time with you wonderful folks, but let's be honest: this isn't helping me get my story done. Blogging does have its advantages. You can actually write something when you're too scared, instead of staring at a very quiet typewriter or a blinking cursor. But I hate to use this as a crutch. I don't want to blog just because I'm too tired or too scared or too pissed off to do anything else. That's not good for either of us. You shouldn't have to put up with crap and I should be enjoying the fruits of creative productivity.

Right now, though, I'll just shut the lid on the old Underwood, eat some dinner, drink a few beers and relax. The muse will probably waylay me right about bedtime. Then I'll be hellbent on making use of the few minutes a day I can rope that philly in.

Ted Dekker

2004-06-02T16:43:00.000-05:00

My reading list is getting longer. Having well over a dozen books (and growing) on my "this-is-the-next-book-I-read" list might make a normal person stopping buying more and adding to the overhead. Unh, uh. Not me. More is better.

That's why I haven't gotten around to Ted Dekker's books (yet)--even though everything I've read about him suggests I'll like his work. If you're not familiar with who Ted Dekker is, here's a great interview with him on Fuse Magazine.

G.K. Chesterton on Charlotte Brontë (and others)

2004-06-02T10:28:00.000-05:00

Ran across this interesting article about Charlotte Brontë on the Gutenberg Project website. It's by the grandaddy of modern Christian philosophy: G.K. Chesterton.

There are other authors reviewed/critiqued in this article as well. It's an interesting look inside the mind of a forward-thinking christian philosopher. His take on the role of christians is very interesting. Although written 102 years ago, these thoughts are still applicable. Even in our "modern" society.

Write...or Die Trying

I've Moved!

More Search Terms

Books I've Read Recently

Gmail

Input or Output

More Search Terms

Quote from Joseph Pulitzer

The Perfect Church

Taking Your Craft Too Far

More Recent Search Hits

Don't You Have Anything Better To Do?

Boy Does This Topic Make People Angry

Letter to the Principal Regarding a Bullying Problem With my Son

More Search Terms REDUX

More Strange Search Terms

More on the Difficult Topic of Sexuality in Christian Fiction

Discussion of Carnal Knowledge Redux

Carnal Knowledge of Your Spouse in Christian Fiction

What In the World Are They Looking For?

Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian

Bored At Work

On the Legitimacy of Magic in Fantasy Literature

Duality: Light and Dark

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

It's Just Funny

Some Strange and Curious Punishments

The Flying Dutchman

FROM BEING TO NOTHINGNESS

The Druids

Feels Good to be Back

Downloadable dictionary

Now That That's Over With...

Armageddon

Point Of View

Stanley Kubrick on A Clockwork Orange

Thanks for the Link

Keep On Dreaming

Busy Busy Busy

Tips on Getting published

Gutenberg Has Been Updated

Sad News

Character Analysis of Big Nurse

Bad Grades Suck

Cuckoo's Nest and New (old) books

School Daze

The Worth of Education

RNC Observations

Wireless Hi-Speed Internet Rocks!

New Internet Connection

French class

Okay, so I'm an idiot

Time flies when you're having...ummm...fun

Crazy Week

I Feel Like A Nerd

Back to School

Flannery O'Connor

Literary "Censorship"

Anniversary Vacation

Vote Early, Vote Often

My Shoulder Is Still Sore

Concentration? What Concentration?

Bubba Ho-Tep

Feedback

Sometimes You Just Need a Break

The GI Bill

M. Night Shyamalan

Thoughts About a Gun

Not a Good Day for Writing

Elizabethan Demonology

Sphere of Influence

Ellery Queen

What a Novel Idea

A Life of Its Own

I Got a New Laptop

Spider-Man 2

Offline till the meds wear off

Version 1 or Version 2?

Deleted Scene

New Secret Project